I had a weird Independence Day weekend.
Six months ago an elementary and high school classmate whom I had not seen, spoken to or, frankly, thought about or missed in 50 years contacted me and said he and his family would be taking a cross-country road trip with his 86 foot long trailer in honor of the 250th Anniversary of our nation’s founding. For his D.C. stop, timed to take place on July Fourth, he was wondering if I could accommodate his monster vehicle. (He had checked my Alexandria home’s locale via Google satellite, and saw that there seemed to be a lot of space on my cul-de-sac.)
Let’s call him “Jeff.”
I said “Sure! It would be great to see you!” as a reflex, and promptly forgot about him as well as my commitment.
Well, Jeff arrived as planned after calling me for three days as he drove here. It was immediately clear that he expected me to be his family’s chauffeur, host and tour guide until they departed Monday afternoon. So I was. I took them to museums and D.C. area attractions. I accompanied them to restaurants. They left their trailer and knocked on my door early every morning—earlier than I would usually be up— assuming I was ready to start the day’s events.
This was a weird family. Jeff’s wife (his fourth, I learned) was an Armenian woman 25 years his junior who barely spoke English, and Jeff never indicated that he spoke her language. They had a delightful, happy four-year old boy (whom she dressed like a girl) whom the couple had adopted after his mother, Jeff’s wife’s niece, had been murdered by a serial killer.
Ethics Alarms 
Fantastic and inspirational, Jack. Thank you for sharing! I wish I could be this outgoing and generous. My biggest extension of self this past month was remembering to wish Happy Birthday to an old friend via text.
I chuckled at your sister’s comment.
Yeah, I thought that was pretty funny as well.
Sisters…what do they know?!?
Mrs. OB says much the same of most of my high school buddies. She thinks I’m a sucker. And she’s probably right. She is about most things.
That’s a beautiful, generous, and selfless thing you did. In the same situation, I would have been tempted to – probably more than tempted, I simply would have – come up with any number of reasons to say “I’m not available,” and all of them would have been lies, and therefore unethical.
You may never see or hear from “Jeff” again, but neither will you ever forget the 250th July 4th this nation celebrated.
Jeff and his family will not forget it, either. And I’m guessing you made a terrific impression on a little four-year-old.
Good on you!!
It’s funny how time alters our attitudes and behaviors towards people we knew long ago. Ten years ago, I bumped into a high-school classmate at a youth baseball game that I hadn’t seen in three decades. We played in high-school band together (and also baseball), and I seem to recall how frustrated I would be with him in band for not paying attention to the conductor and just kind of screwing around. He eventually quit music and I don’t recall being sorry to see him go.
But thirty years later, none of that mattered. Here was a guy – and I’ll call him “Bryan” – that I sat with every day and then hadn’t seen in forever, and all of the baggage from those days was nowhere to be found. And for that summer, we reconnected each week watching the boys play baseball. We laughed, shared old memories…it was great. I have lost contact with him again, but I don’t think my experience is unique.
People from our youths with whom we had problems have now matured (maybe “Jeff” was a bit of an exception) as much as we have and all those petty squabbles and hard feelings don’t have to matter any longer.
Anyways, thanks for sharing your experience…and thanks for your willingness to say “yes” when it mattered.
I see a buddy movie script being pitched in the near future.
Oh God no.
It’ll be great! And we can get Paul Giamatti to play you! He’ll be perfect. He’ll want the role.
Jack,
I applaud your adherence to the Golden Rule and it really doesn’t matter one bit if they remember it fondly or not, but I’m guessing they will remember it fondly. Your effort to do the right thing is admirable.
Steve
Why did she dress the boy like a girl?! Like, in dresses or just sort of girl-like?
I can’t find a source right now, but my understanding is it’s to protect the child from evil spirits by confusing the spirits when they’re looking for the firstborn male, or something like that. It’s a supersti–sorry, I mean, it’s a way of living in accordance with metaphysical forces.
I read that, then checked the author, then read it again: Sr Octopus! 🐙 You made a joke!
Huar huar huar!
Remember that EC is from another dimension, too.
jvb
Long hair, some kind of “Handmaiden’s Tale” hat, unisex clothing/
I am intrigued by an 85-foot mobile home. That’s a bigass vehicle.
jvb
Jack even said 86 feet in the post. I don’t know maybe it’s a typo or his friend estimated the length incorrectly because a semi has a 53 foot trailer and about 75 feet overall. I read that non-commercial vehicles are limited to 65 feet in most states; that includes the RV length and any towed vehicle. I think you’d need a special permit for an 86 foot trailer or whatever they have.
It was that big (I paced it off), but given my record, it is reasonable for you to expect a typo.
“That’s a bigass vehicle.”
I tendered salmon on a 86’/~26 meter Halibut Schooner; THAT was a big @$$ boat!
PWS
I’ve had people like that in my life (I still do). Those who know me cannot understand it either. You’re a conservative Christian, and you are good friends with a guy like that?
Sometimes, you just connect in a weird way with someone, even if you don’t particularly like them, there is some kind of charming innocence to them. To put it in scientific terms, it’s vibes man!
There’s probably a Jeff in many of our lives, and in other lives, maybe some of us are Jeff.
Jeeez. Because of your unique limbic system, you’re going to remember every stupid comment I made on your blog, every bad joke that didn’t land, every poorly conceived opinion, every underbaked witticism…. Regarding whether or not it was the right thing to do, that’s more of a personal decision than a universal code of ethics, which you seem to be suggesting. “I’m busy that weekend, but I wish you and your family a really great time on your road trip” would have been just as ethical. Personally, when the kid hugged me goodbye, I would have stolen his pocket watch.
Before finishing page 2, having heard your personal testimony of unparalleled hospitality, I have to ask if I can park my mini-van outside your house and sleep in it overnight(and my family of 7) while I am in town for a tour of the Lincoln Memorial reflection pool. What time(we’re flexible) is your continental breakfast served?
“The number you have reached is not in service…”
Wonderful. An ethics lesson for us all, and one I hope I remember.
Oh, as an aside, I believe you meant “limbic system” above.
Yyyyyyyyyyyeah. I did. Thanks. Fixed.
Random acts of kindness keep life interesting. Well done, sir. I live in the DC Metro area, too, and the only time I go downtown is to entertain guests, and always enjoy it.
“I find it amazing that someone who is as tough on people as you tend to be has these episodes of extreme generosity and kindness to virtual strangers, or, as in this case, someone you don’t even like.”
You’re in good company! If Will Durant’s brief biography of him is to be believed, Voltaire was just such a man.
Everyone whom I have told about this has said I was nuts. My sister said, “I find it amazing that someone who is as tough on people as you tend to be has these episodes of extreme generosity and kindness to virtual strangers, or, as in this case, someone you don’t even like.”
I don’t think you are nuts, and neither is your sister. She is quite perceptive and concise.
Sorry to be so late – family wedding on Saturday, reception here, house guests – no time for email or blogs. Just now catching up.