Whatever.

“After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned.”

—-Kim Kardashian, reality star and cornerstone of the ongoing famous-for-being-famous Kardashian family media scam, announcing her sudden divorce filing –apparently explained to the celebrity gossip site TMZ before being revealed to her soon-to-be ex—-from husband Kris Humphries, to whom she had been married for 72 days.

In the dark days of the Great Depression, unscrupulous promoters held dance marathons across the country, the first “reality shows” since Nero fed Christians to lions for sport in the Roman Colosseum. Desperate people stayed on their feet dancing with only brief rest periods for thousands of hours, with participants getting meals for their suffering and the last couple standing getting a cash prize. Sadistic Americans paid admission fees to watch the carnage. One of the most popular gimmicks in the marathons was the fake wedding, in which the MC would proclaim that two of the courageous contestants had fallen in love, and would be married right on the dance floor.

This charade usually occurred well into the competition, after any real dancing had deteriorated into labored dragging, and the proceedings needed a boost. The crowd lapped it up, of course, giving wedding gifts to the happy couple, who would sell them later for food. After the marathon, the marriage would be annulled.

I can’t prove that Kim and Kris’s marriage is a fake, but virtually everything the Kardashians do is ruthlessly calculated with the reality show audience in mind, so the usual presumptions regarding something as intimate as a marriage are turned inside-out. (It sure seemed suspicious to me that the K-obsessed Kardashians—the sisters are Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney—would find a husband for Kim named Kris.) The Kardashian-Humphries wedding was broadcast by cable’s E! as a four hour orgy of excess, and, of course, put plenty of money into the Kardashian koffers. The difference between these nuptuals and those on the dance floor in the Thirties was that at least then the richer people were giving money to couples in abject poverty. In 2011, the money was migrating from the unemployed in the hinterland, who can think of nothing better to do than to moon after Kim and her equally fatuous  sisters, to the ostentatiously rich and wasteful.

Occupy Hollywood? Occupy the Kardashians?

Kim’s comment that “I had hoped this marriage was forever” is an insult to marriage, an insult to everyone who is or has ever been married, an insult to gay Americans who are fighting for the legitimacy conferred by marriage, and an insult to America’s intelligence—as well as a lie. If someone hopes that a marriage will last “forever,” she doesn’t bail on it in less than three months unless her husband reveals himself as the Zodiac killer. “Forever” my foot: the bond that is supposed to symbolize a life commitment is as disposable as a designer dress to the reality star. Her fans, morons that they are, were more dedicated to her marriage than she was. In the excellent Martin Scorsese documentary about Beatle George Harrison currently playing on HBO, Harrison’s widow talks about the difficulties of being married to the impulsive and often unfaithful musician. “What’s the secret of a long marriage?” she asks the camera. “Don’t get divorced.”

I doubt that Kim will be making amends to the many people she conned with this reality show episode, including the caterers and suppliers who contributed thousands of dollars of their services and products to have a part in a historic romantic extravaganza that was either a fake or a joke. The couple received an estimated $65,ooo in wedding gifts—why should they return them? There was a wedding, right? The marriage lasted longer that Britney Spears’ wedding, right? They didn’t get an annulment like Britney did, right?

Besides, those marathon dancers got to keep their gifts.

Kardashian’s statement can be fairly translated as..

“Well, we got as much mileage out of my marriage on my show as we are going to, so the writers say its time to move on to the divorce story. I had hoped that it would last forever, meaning until the end of the current season, but my sisters don’t like Kris very much, and besides, we’re auditioning husbands for their marriages. Keep watching our show on E! We love you!”

I think I liked the dance marathon weddings better.