What would Jesus do if he got a crappy card like this instead of a fair tip?
The tale of the diner who left a pre-printed proselytizing card, disguised to look like a $10 bill, in lieu of a tip has attracted a surprising amount of interest on other sites. (The card began, “Some things are better than money…like your eternal salvation,” and went on to extol the benefits of religion.) Some of the comments raise ethical issues of their own. On Reddit, this interesting exchange occurred:
First Commenter: “I had a table of four leave me one of these and sixteen cents on their $40+ bill. The next time that they came in, which was the next Sunday after their church service they were completely ignored by all staff including managers. Forty minutes for their drinks, an hour and a half for their food, and a swift walk-by to throw the bill on their table was their service from then on.”
Second Commenter: What you SHOULD have done is this: Made their order, brought it to them, then, just as they were about to start eating, you should’ve taken the food away and replaced it with a piece of paper that said SOME THINGS ARE BETTER THAN FOOD…
Third Commenter: And did that make you feel good? Why not just refuse them service?
First Commenter: Couldn’t actually refuse service for corporate bullshit reasons. This was a chain restaurant. Trust me we all wanted to tell them to GTFO and take their proselytizing bullshit with them. And yes it made every employee feel good to treat them like shit. Servers work for less than half of minimum wage, and a religious pamphlet does not help pay the bills.
Your Ethics Quiz to begin Thanksgiving week is a multiple choice: Which of the responses to the card is the ethical one?
Possible Answers:
1. Giving the group lousy and rude service.
2. Leaving the ironic message after taking awy their food.
3. Refusing them service.
4. None of them.
The answer is #4.
I am sympathetic with #1, amused by #2, and appreciate the directness of #3. Nevertheless, diners are not obligated to leave tips, and the best way to show a group of sanctimonious religious zealots the error of their cheap and presumptuous ways is to show that you understand the best of Christian principles of virtue better than they do. That means giving them good and pleasant service, and at the end of the meal, telling the group directly why their previous conduct was offensive, and letting them know that they are no longer welcome in the establishment. Personally, I wouldn’t accept their tip if they offered one.
This is honest, addresses the issue, and is corrective rather than vengeful and petty. Jesus’s approach to such a situation was to “turn the other cheek,” and this is an excellent example of the wisdom of his advice. Simply refuse the group service, and they chalk the conduct up to heathens who resist enlightenment. The jerks learn nothing, and are just as likely to pull the same obnoxious stunt on someone else. Treat them well, and then explain the error of their ways, and there is a chance—a chance—that they may be the ones converted…to decent behavior and consideration for others.
Let’s remember that ethics is ultimately about making the world better, not just foiling the efforts of the people who make it worse.
(And let’s not forget An Orange Box, who originally posted the story.)
Ethics Alarms 
Wonderful distinction (bettering vs foiling). I’ll remember it and use it (with proper attribution, of course).
Rats! Now I have to start attributing all the things I learn from YOU!!!
A server is most likely going to be fired if they say anything to a customer about the lack of a tip. When I waited tables if someone who came in who either left tracts or I knew to be s lousy tipper I gave them efficient service but never went out of my way for them. The hostess also would make sure to seat them at the worse tables in the restaurant.
Yes, if someone is going to tell them off, it better be the owner.
Presumably a waiter would also be fired for 1, 2 or 3 without approval too.
You chose an option that was barred (refusing service). Unless the ethical thing to do is violate corporate policy…
Who did? That wasn’t my choice at all. Telling them they aren’t welcome back isn’t refusing service, and I assume this would only be done with approval. Any restaurant is allowed to ban misbehaving patrons,
How about serving them as usual, and then, when delivering the check, say something like: “Thank you for sharing your message last week. The thought is appreciated. However, you should know that wait staff depend very largely on tips to meet our costs of living. I’m sure you didn’t intend to impose a hardship on anyone, Perhaps you could leave a pamphlet in addition to a tip, if you find the service acceptable?”
Servers where I live cannot be paid less than minimum wage. Minimum wage is the minimum a worker can be paid. If we weren’t starving these people, maybe they would come up with nicer responses.
You can’t complain to diners about the lack of a tip. A gratuity is not required, it’s at the discretion of the diner, and therefore cannot be expected or whined about or threatened over. Unfortunate, but true. In 1988 I was a “waitron” (yes, was the official “gender-neutral” term our restaurant adopted). Minimum wage was $3.35/hour; as I recall, I earned $2.15/hour. I know servers earn less than minimum wage now, too; tips are expected to make up the difference. Not at all fair, given the unpredicatiliby of tips, but it is what it is. On live-music Friday nights in the bar, I raked it in (especially when I wore a particular skirt. Sure, I’ll get you a $5 Bud in a bottle and keep the change on that twenty! I always hoped those guys, peeling bills from the freshly cashed paychecks in their work-shirt pocket, didn’t have kids at home.).
But it didn’t always work in my favor. I was ridiculously ripped off on prom night … by myself I served a table of 14, seven couples, who kept me running. Ketchup. Steak sauce. Clean fork. More napkins. Endless soda refills. For a tip of less than $2. They ran out of money. Then there were the little old ladies on Sunday mornings; they sat for hours, nursing their iced teas (refilled for free), and left me a quarter. They were so sweet … sometimes people just don’t have the money.
And sometimes they’re jerks. Like the guy who on my very first table ever left me a tower of pennies, carefully arranged in the bottom of a glass of cola and melting ice. Sigh.
It’s unfair. It’s unpredictable. And I like to think it all evens out in the end, cheapskates and message-senders balanced by ex-waitrons like me to never leave more than 20% and usually closer to 25%.
You can’t complain to diners about the lack of a tip.
Nothing that follows supports this position. It’s cultural tradition to tip. The only defense is ignorance. Other things that fit your bill:
You can’t complain to people who curse loudly in public.
You can’t complain to people who are racist.
You can’t complain to people who do pretty much anything we complain about on this blog.
Are diners legally required to tip? No. Are they ethically required to tip in the U.S.? Most definitely.
And I like to think it all evens out in the end, cheapskates and message-senders balanced by ex-waitrons like me to never leave more than 20% and usually closer to 25%.
On the large scale, it probably evens out. For each server? Nope. It’s the nature of variability.