A prominent member of the First Baptist Church of Crystal Springs, Miss.
It’s time to add a new Ethics Alarms category— the Worst Apology. Apologies seem to be flying around faster than usual as campaign season intensifies, though some individuals who desperately need to apologize—like, say, Harry Reid, are not.
I’ll be using the Ethics Alarms Apology Scale to rank the rotten apologies in our future. Ironically, the first winner in the category is a rare form of putrid apology that doesn’t even appear on the scale. The lowest ranking on the scale is a 10 ( “An insincere and dishonest apology designed to allow the wrongdoer to escape accountability cheaply, and to deceive his or her victims into forgiveness and trust, so they are vulnerable to future wrongdoing”), but the recent apology by the First Baptist Church of Crystal Springs, Miss. pulls an 11.
You should recall the First Baptist Church. In an earlier post, I decreed its pusillanimous pastor, Stan Weatherford, an Ethics Dunce for refusing to preside over the scheduled wedding of two of his parishioners, Charles and Te’Andrea Wilson, at the church because some members objected to breaking the First Baptist’s perfect record of never celebrating the marriage of two African-Americans. Not wanting to rock the boat (and jeopardize his job), and aided by a spine made of Silly Putty, Rev. Stan caved to bigot pressure.
Predictably, the episode made the church an object of ridicule and derision locally and nationally. So the First Baptist elders got together and crafted a six paragraph apology, and posted it on the church’s website. The congregation was seeking “forgiveness and reconciliation” with the Wilsons, their family, friends and God, it said. “This wrong decision resulted in hurt and sadness for everyone. Both the pastor and those involved in the wedding location being changed have expressed their regrets and sorrow for their actions.”
They forgot one little detail, however. The church didn’t bother to tell the Wilsons, who only learned that they had been apologized to, sort of, from a reporter. Charles Wilson was aghast. He said no official from the church had contacted him or his wife since it had decided that they were too black to be married in their own place of worship. “I can’t believe they think they’ve apologized,” Wilson said. “You put a thing in the media and say you’ve apologized? That is an insult.”
It’s worse than an insult, really. It is a flagrant lie. There is no apology when the parties who have been hurt are the last ones to know about it. The First Baptist Church of Crystal Springs has no more respect and concern for the Wilsons than it did when it humiliated and shunned them on what should have been their day to celebrate love and commitment. The church does care about being a national pariah, however, so it decided that a public relations apology was in order. It wants everyone to think it’s sorry and understands the wrongfulness of what it did. But the first people to apologize to had to be the Wilsons, and apparently the church’s leadership didn’t even make the effort. They don’t care about the Wilsons; they don’t care that they insulted them and drove them from the church. They just want credit for a phony apology, so they can stop getting hate mail and get back to being hypocrites and bigots.
Here’s your credit, First Baptist: Worst Apology of the Month.
Congratulations.
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Facts: Associated Press
Ethics Alarms attempts to give proper attribution and credit to all sources of facts, analysis and other assistance that go into its blog posts. If you are aware of one I missed, or believe your own work was used in any way without proper attribution, please contact me, Jack Marshall, at jamproethics@verizon.net.
Ethics Alarms 
Also, they’re using alot of third person language and comments about sinfulness to suggest that they weren’t actually responsible. Also, multiple paragraphs on forgiveness. There’s only one line in the whole thing that even approaches apology, and it simply notes that some of the people involved have expressed regret for their actions. It’s ridiculous.
Here’s a link to the apology: http://www.wlbt.com/story/19207214/first-baptist-church-of-crystal-springs-apology
I’d link to their actual website, but it’s down due to a configuration error. They also screwed up their security pretty badly, and there’s no need to publicize what they’ve exposed.
After 25 years of living up north, I have just recently returned “home” to the deep south. I grew up in Louisiana, but spent most weekends with cousins in Mississippi… Brookhaven, Jackson, Hattiesburg, all of which are very near Crystal Springs. Much as I loved my large, extended family, once I landed north of the Mason-Dixon line, I did not miss the embarrassing bigotry that occasionally came to light during our growing up years. I was always shocked when I’d come down to visit and hear “the n-word” or worse. (My Mom and Dad, young parents living in New Orleans during the Civil Rights movement, somehow adopted more open-minded beliefs than their families.)
It’s immensely disheartening to have just returned into the arms of my progressive family after being desperately homesick for 25 years only to discover that things have barely changed in the minds of SO MANY. An entire congregation? My neighbors seem so friendly, but I can’t help but wonder what lurks beneath the surface. My neighbor introduced herself today with a tasty piece of chocolate cake. I held my breath the whole time waiting for the inevitable “bible belt” invitation to church. Thankfully, there was no such invitation. Or negative revelation.
Still, the jury is still out on what to think about returning to rural southern living after two+ decades elsewhere.
As always, I really appreciated your thoughts, Jack.
Christine
I suggest you do not return. I made the mistake to come back to MS in 1989. It is has been the worst decision of my life. Though this particular town’s main industry is churches, they are filled with people that shun anyone that doesn’t attend church. They are mean-spirited and vicious. Our life has been hell. We are wasting away here and are not financially able to leave. It breaks our heart that we will die in this hateful place.
I would hold the apology suspect anyway it was done. Through the media without contacting the couple is the most transparent un-apology however. When I first heard of this I thought the church refused to marry them because they weren’t actual members,which is another issue I dislike but this takes the cake. These people haven’t changed their views because of a change of heart so their apology is worthless.
Jack,you owe an apology to the weasel.
Jack – I think you called this one wrong. It’s not an 11. It’s a 15. This is so wrong it beggars the imagination. And Karla’s right – you owe an apology to the weasel. I can’t begin to wrap my mind around this one.
That’s funny, because my original number was 13. I will conceded that 11 is too generous.
You take that back!! Weasels are fine, upstanding members of the family Mustilidae, proudly hunting rats, squirrels, and other vermin that would otherwise eat my garden. They would certainly never commit such prejudice against a fellow weasel, nor give such a despicable non-apology.
Sheesh! Seems like there is no redemption or recovery possible for such a non-apology. At this point, it wouldn’t be adequate reparations for this congregation even if they made a real estate deal to permanently swap facilities, furnishings, and grounds with a local “black church” – even if they agreed to pay all taxes, utilities and maintenance on their former “base” in perpetuity for the new occupants.
Open question (begging your pardon, Jack, if I am violating a blog rule): How COULD Rev. Weatherford and his flock make amends, if possible?
It’s not possible, because there can never be a possibility of reasonable trust, after a betrayal like that. The congregation proved that to them, the couple were first and foremost generic blacks, not community members and friends. The flock can say all the right things, but they showed their true character. Contrary to all the lip service given to contrition, there really are some things that can’t and shouldn’t be forgiven.
I don’t agree with you. People and groups can change, and they should be rewarded for changing. if the church and the specific problematic members actively began supporting interracial marriage in both deed and word, forgiveness could be appropriate.
They CAN, but trust requires a reasonable likelihood that they WILL.
I appreciate your and tgt’s comments here. They make my head hurt, but it’s a good and needed hurt. I guess one of the toughest tests of ethics comes with making good decisions about how to deal with the damage done, and with the damage-doers, after such egregious failure. It may indeed be easier to bring the dead back to life.
I don’t think they will make amends, but it is certainly possible for them to do so.
tgt,I agree people can change. Even the most hardened criminals have completely turned around in some cases but they ought to be given a period of time to prove that such is the case. That’s the only way they can gain trust. But I don’t know how one could fully trust the church members because even if their words and deeds changed it’s impossible to know what’s in their hearts and minds and that would constantly be on the back of my mind,at least. I guess you’d have to give them the benefit of the doubt but I don’t think you’re obligated to.
I’m glad so many commented that the weasel is an honorable creature (as the pastor and his flock are not).