The Naked Mayor Principle?

Chip Johnson

Chip  Johnson, the  married mayor of Hernando, Mississippi, sent a photograph of himself naked in the shower to his mistress, who then widely circulated it on the internet after the mayor discarded her like an old sock, or something.  (This is the essentially same plot the the British series “Happy Valley” employed last season, except that ex-lover so exposed was a police detective, not a mayor.)

Chip defended himself by explaining that he had sent the  shower selfie last year to an adult woman who was fully consenting in the relationship; in other words, this wasn’t a Weiner situation. Now he’s playing the victim, whining that it was “hurtful” to have his trust violated while he was violating his wife’s trust as well as the trust of his constituency, which trusted him not to make an ass of himself and embarrass them by emailing his naughty bits to his mistress.  Johnson told the local paper that he was seeking legal advice. Here’s some ethics advice:

Resign. Mayors should, at very least, be reasonably trusted not to have their Johnsons get displayed far and wide. There is no good reason for any mayor’s Johnson to be so displayed. If a mayor’s Johnson, like Mayor Johnson’s Johnson, is so displayed, it is proof positive that said mayor is an irresponsible fool with terrible judgment. Nobody who is an irresponsible fool with terrible judgment should be a mayor. Sure, the ex-mistress’s conduct was cruel and vindictive, but she’s not the mayor.

It’s really quite simple.

He’s toast, and deserves to be.

Let’s call it “The Naked Mayor Principle.”

[ You can review the related Naked Teacher Principle here...]

31 thoughts on “The Naked Mayor Principle?

  1. Maybe he should move to France. They laugh about these situations and in a day or two, it is forgotten. Downward mobility seems to be his lot here. Maybe he needs to man up anyway.

  2. Personally, I think I’d prefer his honor’s exposed body part be identified as his penis. When did “Johnson” come into the vernacular? It strikes me a terribly frat boy and unbecoming of this web log.

  3. Yet more evidence of the ‘dumbing down’ of America. I’m not actually referring to this mayor, but to the people who elected him. What would you like to bet they are Trump supporters (pun intended).

  4. Do the men who send “dick pics” realize that those pictures are often judged with a roll of the eyes and then passed around to the recipient’s girlfriends where a good laugh is had by all? Seriously, the only one impressed with the subject of the photograph is the owner to whom the subject is attached.

    • I’m with you. I’m from Boston, where being without a tie is considered immodest. I can’t conceive of a man doing this, and can’t imagine a woman appreciating it. I would no more send anyone a photo of my external organs than try to fly by leaping off a bridge, paint myself blue and run through the Capitol shouting “Jimmy Kimmel is GOD!” or gouge my eyes out with melon scoops, and never would have at any time in my life, nor could I respect a woman who would tolerate it.

        • Well Alicia, what about all the boobalicious selfies inflicted upon everyone every day by every tart in the twitterverse. Let’s not limit this to guys exposing themselves. I’d say the ratio is about … who knows how many to one.

  5. Between the current Presidential campaign and stuff like this, I am even more certain we are doomed as a culture and a country. World leadership? From where?

  6. Damn. I was waiting for a G&S patter song to complete this. You’ve got an elected official, the words johnson/Johnson, a mistress, and a wife? What’s wrong with you Jack?

      • Oh ye of little faith. You can make a classy patter song about this. I already picture the trio — the mayor, the ex-mistress, and the wife. Everything could be by innuendo and lots of references to morally bankrupt politicians.

          • Here, Beth: your wish is my command. Based on “There lived a king” from “The Gondoliers”…

            There lived a mayor, as I’ve been told,
            Who kept a mistress, not too old
            And sent her, though his crotch got cold
            Some selfies from his shower

            Good-humor spread across his face,
            To share, with candor and with grace
            The beauty of his naughty place
            As if it were a flower.

            A Mississippi mayor was he
            And Weinerizing might not be
            As safe for him to send to she
            Had he been from Wisconsin.


            Had he been from Wisconsin!

            He wished all men endowed as he
            But ‘twas impossibility
            For fate had ruled prospectively
            By having named him “Johnson”!


            Now, that’s the kind of mayor for me.
            He wished all men as hung as he!

            All might have had a happy end
            Had Johnson not dismissed his “friend”
            But dumping lovers often tends
            To prompt some adverse action.

            And thanks to Johnson’s Johnson shot
            (Which he had probably forgot)
            His ex sex partner had him caught
            Exposed as an attraction.

            Admirers were not the point
            The issue was his glistening joint
            And whether voters should anoint
            A mayor with Johnson famous!


            A mayor with Johnson famous!

            The moral of this story sad:
            If Mayor Johnson, who’s a cad
            Lets his nude Johnson make us mad
            Then he can hardly blame us.


            A moral there for every cad!.
            Those Johnson selfies end up bad!

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