When Ethics Alarms Don’t Ring: The Bad Date Lawsuit

No story is too stupid for Ethics Alarms!

I’m so proud.

In Round Rock, Texas, Brandon Vezmar took a woman out for a pizza and to see “Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2” , but she texted throughout the film and then left him sitting alone. He texted her, demanding that she  refund the cost of the pizza and the ticket, but she says she refused because “he took me out on a date.”. Now Brandon has filed a claim for $17.31 in small claims court.

Ethics Observations:

1. Brandon’s law suit can be translated as: “Look at me! I’m a big jerk!” I cannot imagine that he will be more successful finding dates in the future. And no wonder she abandoned him.

2. The lawsuit is an abuse of process. He will be lucky if he doesn’t get a dressing down from the judge.

3. Of course he should have let the incident go. This is custom, not contract. The date stunk. That’s a risk you take.

4. The woman, who remains un-named, is a rude jerk as well. She could and should have apologized quickly enough that Big Jerk didn’t have time to complain.

5. There is so much wrong with any two people who can’t locate the social skills and common sense to resolve a matter like this without resorting to the legal system, that it is a near certainty that they will engage in far worse conduct, doing real harm, in the future.

______________________

Pointer: Tim Levier

 

59 Comments

Filed under Character, Ethics Alarms Award Nominee, Ethics Dunces, Etiquette and manners, Law & Law Enforcement, Romance and Relationships

59 responses to “When Ethics Alarms Don’t Ring: The Bad Date Lawsuit

  1. Wow. Dude refers to himself as a “Men’s Rights Activist”…

    Evidently she happened to be the driver on the date and her leaving in the middle of the movie also left him stranded.

    Apparently he’s quoted on twitter saying “apart from serial killing is there anything lower than texting during a movie?”

    Class acts all.

  2. Steve-O-in-NJ

    I guess I got off lucky ditching a date MANY years ago after conversation went really far south, really quickly.

    • I’m curious: “ditching” is leaving without letting someone know you’re leaving. Did you do that, or just end the date?

      • Steve-O-in-NJ

        I FLED. We were talking about the then-recent movie “Saving Private Ryan” and that led generally to a discussion of WW2. I said something to the effect of “between Pearl Harbor and the Bataan Death March and the Rape of Nanjing the Japanese deserved everything they got, up to and including the atomic bomb.” She was a bit taken aback and told me she was half Japanese. No obvious Japanese appearance (she looked Filipina), no Japanese name, nothing to clue me in. I was so embarrassed I paid on the spot and fled, saying I trusted she could find her own way home.

        • Well, that’s ditching, all right.

        • She was a bit taken aback and told me she was half Japanese.

          What does that have to do with it? The Japanese DID (and to an extent still do) treat the rest of the world as if they are animals to be culled.

          If I have to own my ‘white privilege’ and the spectre of slavery based on the color of my skin (never mind my ancestors never owned slaves and many came here after that war, or my lower middle class (upper poor class) upbringing) then she can own that her country murdered millions over the course of decades.

          • Chris

            I think asking anyone, of any race, to own the sins of their ancestors on a first date is a bit much.

            • Steve-O-in-NJ

              No different than a former co-worker who started to quiz me about abortion a minute after we first met.

            • I mean…. Maybe it’s better to know that the person you’re dating is crazy early on. Saves you $17 bucks for the second date, right?

            • Chris, that is a fair point. It was silly to even bring it up in a dating situation.

              Maybe ancestral guilt should wait until the third date. /snark 🙂

              • Or at least whether or not dinner goes towards any accumulated reparation debt…

                • Steve-O-in-NJ

                  Ahahahaha, it was a discussion of WW2 that I got a little too passionate about while missing a vey important fact, not a deliberate and knowing shaming of the other person a la that woman on the plane who went zero to 60 and verbally attacked the Trump supporter.

            • Steve-O-in-NJ

              It’s dangerous generally to spout off in the presence of those you don’t know too well or are just getting to know. Just ask another co-worker who spilled his guts to me about how the nation was doing wrong by the Hispanics and owed them for stuff that happened over 150 years ago. You see, my name can be either Italian or Spanish (though it’s typically Colombian or Cuban if the latter), and given that I am olive-skinned and dark-haired I guess this guy decided I was Hispanic and would be receptive. I listened to his rant for about seven minutes before I revealed that I am in fact Italian and Irish, and thought he was talking borderline treason, and told him to get out of my sight before I reported him to HR and maybe to Homeland Security.

              Just ask yet another lawyer I know, who we’ll call Nigel, who’s from London originally (fell in love with an American while in college here and stayed) and of course talks with a UK accent. His wife’s Jewish, but he never mentions it if someone lets something slip, and then lets that person dig himself a nice deep hole before telling him that his wife is Jewish and his daughters are being raised Jewish and tearing him apart. However, an offhand comment at a social event about Irish Americans being ok with terror until it hit home backfired on him when a third lawyer who we’ll call Brian revealed he was half Irish and was ah, deeply offended. The rest of us had to pull them apart and call security to prevent a fistfight that might have led to someone getting killed, I mean Brian went from talking casually one second to screaming, threatening, and lunging for Nigel the next.

    • Whoa Nellie! Might this careen into a discussion of dates gone bad? In my best Jimmy Durante voice: “I’ve got a million of ‘em!”

      In the fall of 1976 a couple of friends set me up on a blind date. At this…um…earlier stage of development (I was 21) I was as full of shit as a Christmas goose; worse yet, I thought none of it stunk.

      I was over 2 hours late and acted like a self-absorbed dick the whole time.

      For reasons that baffle me to this day, she LUVED me and wanted to pursue things, which might fairly throw into question her judgement. Possessing that rarified combination of arrogance and low self-esteem (think George Costanza), I blew her off.

      Unbeknownst to me, she was being groomed to sit on the board for Grandpa’s 9 figure charitable Foundation (which paid $800 large in just salary!) and deals out 6 & 7 figure grants like so many playing cards.

      I ran into her at Miami International some ~ 15 years later as she prepared to embark on one of her monthly exotic forays; her soft shoes and soft luggage screaming “Yeah, I’m flush!”

      Insult to injury? I couldn’t help but notice the “soooooooo, who’s sorry now you dumb fuck” smirk on her face.

      Oy gevalt! We are too soon old, and too late schmaaht!

    • joed68

      What did you talk about? Did you end it by saying “well, I guess a blowjob is out of the question”?

  3. It’s empowering experiences like this that evade me because I choose NOT to text or to participate in social media.

    “The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” – Fred Astaire

  4. Other Bill

    I’d have an ethics alarm go off if asked out by an adult to go on a date to see a movie called “Guardians of the Galaxy,” either volume one or two or eighty-five.

    • Sounds like The Dirty Dozen or Magnificent Seven in space:

      “A group of intergalactic criminals are forced to work together to stop a fanatical warrior from taking control of the universe.”

      Now you want to see it, don’t you?

      • It is not that good. (Full disclosure: my kid’s birthday party wanted to go see this, and I was designated wallet.)

        However, it IS funny, in a situational, slapstick way, and I found it diverting (if bubble gum weight class) and entertaining. The plot is juvenile, but this is the comic book feel as well. It is like Dead Pool: you know what you are going to get.

    • Anonymous Coward

      Haven’t seen vol2, but the first one was good.

      Heck even RT gave it a favorable scoring
      https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/guardians_of_the_galaxy/

      • Other Bill

        Again, probably okay for kids fare, but a date, among consenting adults?

        • it is a sappy, feel good movie. If the chick is into it, the guy likely will be. After all, most of what passes for a plot is slow motion explosion scenes.

        • Chris

          Comic book movies are huge right now. Hell, Guardians Vol. 2 isn’t even super appropriate for kids; the violence is over the top, and there are tons of sexual references.

          My current girlfriend and I had our first date at a comic book themed pub crawl. We agreed to each wear our own Captain America shirts. Plenty of adults like comic books; don’t be such a snob.

    • joed68

      That’s a weenie alarm.

  5. dragin_dragon

    I happen to be acquainted with the JP who would have heard this…case. When this gentleman sits behind his bench, he has NO sense of humor, and very little patience with frivolous law suits. This idiot, Vezwar, should be VERY pleased his case did not make it to trial.

  6. So, my take on this pile of grubs is to agree that the grubs acted grubby.

    However, the entitlement of the girl (not woman, and certainly not lady) to free stuff on a date rankles. I know, traditionally the boy pays. He then can feel that the girl owes him something she might not want to give. If she is strong enough to not give in, he will move on. And she uses that lure to get entertainment (movies, dinner, flowers, access to a party, whatever)

    You would think the way adult, mature way to not feel obligated is to pay your own way. In 2017, there are SO many girls who go on a date for the party, drinks, and food. They are users. It is cynical and hypocritical, for when they are ready to get serious they would not like to be treated this way. At that point they feel desperate enough to actually go to bed, and are shocked when the bozo leaves anyway. They do not see they helped create the environment that eventually victimizes them.

    Of course, the boys are paying for a chance to see the boobies, so no points for virtue there.

    • Spartan

      Maybe I live in my own little bubble, but all of the young women I know are very choosy about who they date and they typically offer to pay for half.

      And those party girls who just want free stuff typically don’t pick guys without wheels.

      • Steve-O-in-NJ

        No shorties, baldies, or fatties, right? Or do you have to submit a complete financial statement first?

        • Spartan

          You all need to simmer down on the hostility here. And, for the record, there are a lot of bald, fat, short men among my married and single friend list. They are mostly lawyers — not Hollywood actors.

          Oh, and one more thing. I can count on ONE HAND the number of married men I know who outearn their wives. Most of my female friends (including myself) are the family breadwinners.

          • Steve-O-in-NJ

            Ahahaha, that was meant to be more sardonic than out-and-out hostile. Yes, we lawyers come in all shapes and sizes, and most of us don’t look at all like Ryan Gosling or Jamie Dorman. Doesn’t change the fact that a woman knows in 30 seconds if you are for her, and if you’re not, you go into the creep pool, probably without even having done anything creepy. I have no idea who outearns who among the people I know, since it was hammered into my head very early in life you never talk about that. However, I know if a woman shows any interest in a very average-looking guy like me it’s not because I have chiseled arms or six-pack abs, so most likely she is interested in can I cover her bills.

            • Spartan

              I think you lack self-confidence. Most smart women are looking for a smart, witty partner. Looks are secondary.

              • La Sylphide

                I completely agree. I’m far more interested in what’s in a man’s head than what’s on it. Intellect is a huge turn on! But the simmering resentment in this thread is a reminder of why I’d rather stay home on a Friday night and floss my dog’s teeth.

                • Other Bill

                  Steve, I’m with Sparty and La Sylphide on this front. Go for the smart, nice girls. There are lots of them. Keep the Frank Zappa line (sung to a doo wop line and meter) in mind: “What’s the ugliest, part, of your body? Some say your nose, some say your toes, I think it’s your mind, your
                  mind, your mind.” Nothing more depressing than a conventionally good looking chick who’s an idiot. And there are plenty of good looking AND smart nice women. I got lucky.

                • Steve-O-in-NJ

                  Ahahahaha, I don’t blame you, MGTOW types get either boring or scary really fast.

                  • I find the phenominon fascinating. From the Grass Eaters in Japan to MGTOW in America, the practise of young men forgoing women and even relationships because they see the relationship as outside their interest is… it has a certain amount of logic to it, but I’m always amazed at their ability to fight basic biology.

                    The one caveat I’d put in is that the phenominon tends to be spontaneous and individual… This recent trend of people “identifying” as MGTOW hits me as trenderism, or maybe as a response to an expecially bad breakup. My impression is that generally, you either exhibit the phenominon or you don’t, and if you do, it’s often without ever hearing the acronym or speaking to another person exhibiting what we think of as MGTOW.

                    Grass Eaters are even more extreme… In Japan, it’s a deraugatory term that is supposed to shame the men into relationships and productivity… I say productivity because those men tend to be purposefully underemployed, just enough to rent a space, eat, and watch Netflix. It doesn’t work, because the people we’re talking about don’t care. But it’s a serious problem… Society has for basically the entirety of human history been predicated on the basis that men will produce more than they need, and share it with others… women, children, the elderly. This phenominon happening in Japan is arguably worse than if it had happened in America, because Japan still has some old timey hangups with women in the workplace that America has (mostly) gotten past, at least in comparison.

                    Talking about them always reminds me of John Calhoun and NIMH.

                • Whoa, whoa, whoa… that spun out of control quickly! That will teach me to leave my computer for an hour!

                  Everyone take a breath: my post was observation, not recrimination. Notice I gave the guys short shrift as I did the girls. The difference (to me, at least) is I understand the male motivations, having identified as one in my youth, (and thus my 15 yr old daughter will never date until she is 30, or after I die, whichever come first) and had to figure the female motivations through 25 hard years of study/training with my keeper and her explanations.

                  If you are blessed to only know only smart, deep and beautiful girls, then your mileage may vary. My wife and I see a new crop every year, and track them after high school. For every shallow headed idiot (male or female) there are three aspiring adults. Usually the embryonic adults do not play the dating game I describe. The other roughly 25% go at each other in a predictable and depressing cycle of dramatic emotional hubris.

                  (Note: I have noticed, in a totally non representative sampling, that when the 25% graduate, they tend to gravitate to the coasts, usually New York or California. If that is typical of other fly over country, it would go far to explain certain political leanings all over the country)

                  Sparty made a valid comment: shallow beauties DO tend to look for the thrills and a sugar daddy (even if he is their age.) Many come from broken homes, have terrible self esteem, and have never been taught how to act like an adult, much less had a role model.

                  The shallow boys usually DO come from the same situation, with the exception that many of them come from wealthy families, but where money is expected to substitute for relationship and role modeling. (See Johnny Manziel for an example of a briefly successful example. He was a very talented and spoiled local boy whose father bought him out of trouble in Kerrville his entire life.)

                  My apologies to any of the ladies here who took my comments as a disparagement of women: that is not what I said, nor what I intended to say.

              • Steve-O-in-NJ

                I have zero self-confidence.

  7. Mrs. Q

    I’m guessing she wanted to leave the date because it was already going badly. I mean someone who wants to sue you in court for $17 probably shows their cards early on anyway.

    On a date many moons ago I had a guy start wagging his tongue wildly outside his mouth during a casual conversation while we were eating at a restaurant. I was so horrified I said I had to go to the bathroom & left. Never regretted that decision!

  8. Isaac

    “I can file online from my laptop…”

    I know what’s going on here. This guy got duped into buying into that Prepaid Legal pyramid scheme. He’s just trying to get his money’s worth now.

  9. joed68

    It’s really worth $21 to not be known as the dick that threatened a lawsuit over $21.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s