Incompetent Jealous Spouse Of The Millennium: “Leonora N”

Never mind

This story is so, so stupid–but funny!— that I had to devote a whole post to it.

Mexican police report that a woman whose full name has been withheld out of kindness (I suppose) and known only as “Leonora N” was snooping around in her husband’s cell phone and found several photos of him being suspiciously affectionate with a younger, slimmer, more attractive woman. Outraged, the scorned wife attacked her husband with a knife as soon as he walked in the door, stabbing him repeatedly until he managed to get the knife away from her. Police responded to neighbors reporting screams and an altercation, and Leonora was taken into custody.

It turns out that the photos were of her husband with her, when Leonora N was younger, slimmer, and I assume—I hope— a lot smarter.

Wow.

What a moron.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Nobody allowed to move around without a leash is this stupid. I’d be inclined to agree, but the police seem to buy the story, which both the husband and wife vouch for, and there is always this: never underestimate the awesome power of stupidity when it collides with blind emotion.

9 thoughts on “Incompetent Jealous Spouse Of The Millennium: “Leonora N”

  1. I clicked on the link to the story, only to find that the story hails from Cajeme, a municipality of Obregón, Sonora, México. At first I thought it was near Mérida, Yucatán. Nope. Any way, Cajeme appears to be a small subdivision of the state capital. It is named after a Yaqui Indian by the name of José María Bonifacio Leyba Pérez, and his name in his native language of Yaqui means “one who does not stop to drink [water].” In spite of statements to the contrary, his father Fernando evidently did well in the gold fields, as José was enrolled in an exclusive private school, the only school at the time in Guaymas, and one of only 20 schools in the State of Sonora in the 1850s. Having successfully served in the Mexican military in the war against the French occupation, José’s service proved so exemplary that in 1872 he was appointed to the office of “Alcalde Mayor” of the Yaqui by then Sonora Governor Ignacio Pesqueira. Expected by Pesqueira to assist in pacifying the Yaqui people, José instead united the eight Yaqui pueblo into a small, independent republic and unexpectedly announced he would not recognize the Mexican government unless his people were allowed to independently govern themselves.

    Well, things went swimmingly, then Cajeme became annoyed with the Mexican government. Due to Mexican government opposition to Yaqui self-government, José was forced to lead the Yaqui in a war against the Mexican state and those who sought to control and confiscate the traditional Yaqui lands. The war was long-lasting due to the skill of the Yaqui in battle under José’s leadership, and was particularly brutal, with atrocities on both sides, but with a much larger-scale slaughter by the military forces of the Mexican government of President Porfirio Díaz, who is either a folk hero or a total prick or both.

    Ever a fellow of his pueblo, Cajemé, when traveling with his Yaqui soldiers, would often sing in Spanish at the head of his troops. Riding on a horse, he would hook his leg around the pommel of his saddle, and sing a song of bravery and lack of fear of the Mexican army. He would have two men with him, one on each side, and would be followed by perhaps thirty more men on horseback, arranged in groups of ten, spaced some distance apart. Following at the rear of the column would be the infantry, composed of 100 or more troops.

    Well, things went awry again and in 1885, one of Cajemé’s lieutenants, Loreto Molina, sought to gain control of the Yaqui people. With the support of the Mexican authorities, Molina developed an assassination plot to kill Cajemé at Cajemé’s own home, at El Guamuchli, near Pótam. On the evening of 28 January 1885, Molina and twenty-two of his Yaqui supporters (some accounts state 30 or more) set out to kill Cajemé, but Cajemé was not at home, having left for the Mayo River with his bodyguard the day before. Cajemé ws pissed that Molina’s men looted his house, had their ways with the women of the household by beating them with their weapons, and tearing off some of their clothes, and ran off Cajemé’s family, leaving Cajemé’s eight-year-old daughter on the bed in the house, while setting fire his house. One of Cajemé’s sergeants saved the girl out of the flames of the fire, as the house burned to the ground.

    Eventually betrayed by a Yaqui woman whose sympathies lay with Loreto Molina and other Yaquis opposed to resisting Mexican authority, Cajemé was captured while visiting family members in the pueblo of San José de Guaymas (about 8 miles north of the Port of Guaymas) on April 13, 1887. Cajemé was kept under house arrest by General Angel Martinez. He was treated with all of the respect and courtesy accorded to a defeated leader of a country while under arrest. He was interviewed by Ramón Corral. Following his interview, Cajemé was taken from Guaymas bay by the Demócrata, a steam-powered, coal-fired, Iron-hulled, schooner-rigged gunboat, with one funnel and three masts, to the Yaqui River port of El Médano, near Pótam. Cajemé was then paraded through several of the Yaqui pueblos along the river, showing the people that the leader of the Yaqui had been captured. At eleven in the morning, on the return trip to Guaymas, a pretense was made that Cajemé was trying to escape his guard. He was shot seven times, causing his death at Tres Cruces de Chumampaco.

    Considering that the town has such a storied history in love, heroism, bravery, betrayal, and death, anything is possible. It is absolutely possible that “Juan N” cherished those older photos from when his beloved “Leonora” was the epitome of femininity and beauty. It could also be the case that Leonara is dumber than a bag of hammers and would believe anything Juan said.

    jvb

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