Unqualified House Candidate Of The Year: Abby Broyles (D-OK)

I don’t know if it’s possible for a candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives to prove herself less trustworthy and responsible than Oklahoma “Congressional hopeful” Abby Broyles.

Let’s see…while dropping in to visit a friend holding a sleep-over for eight girls aged 12 or 13, Broyles…

  • drank wine and got smashed
  • swore at one girl
  • made fun of another’s acne
  • made a derogatory remark about one girls’ Hispanic heritage along with other abusive remarks
  • vomited in one girl’s shoe, and
  • vomited in a hamper.

Was that wrong?

But wait! There’s more…After angry parents contacted the news media about the event, Broyles denied being at the sleep-over, but was busted when a TikTok video confirmed that she was. Then she gave an interview to KFOR-TV, the Oklahoma City station where she once worked as an anchor.  Broyles told the station that she had “blacked out” after drinking wine and taking a sleep medication that was given to her by her friend (Ah! It was the friend’s fault, you see?) after  Broyles dropped by to visit. “I don’t remember anything until I woke up or came to, and I was throwing up in a hamper,” she told the interviewer.

Never mind, then, Abby; we’ll just forget about the whole thing.

Broyles is a lawyer,and wants her party’s nomination to run against Representative Stephanie Bice, the Republican Rep in her first term representing Oklahoma’s Fifth Congressional District.  Incredibly, Broyles doesn’t see the sleepover fiasco as a good reason for her to seek other employment. That level of analysis itself marks her as unqualified to serve in any post requiring trust and responsibility. And this is without even getting into the difficult question of whether someone who behaves like she did can be trusted. (It’s really not a difficult question. NO.)

As nearly every metaphorical self-immolator from Mel Gibson to Michael Richards and  beyond has done, Broyles has resorted to the Pazuzu Excuse, saying, “I never, ever would say something hurtful like those things, and that’s why I know I was not in my right mind.”

Did your head spin around too, Abby?

Broyles also denies that she has a substance abuse problem. She just has honesty, mean drunk, and can’t-be-trusted-around-children problems.

Her remedy for all of this was a televised apology, when what she had an ethical obligation to do was to personally apologize to every girl who witnessed her cough-syrup meltdown <cough!> and their parents.

To paraphrase Faber College Dean Wormer, “Mean, drunk and dishonest is no way to get to Congress, Abby.”


15 thoughts on “Unqualified House Candidate Of The Year: Abby Broyles (D-OK)

  1. It’d be funny if it was in a movie. Those girls are going to have it rough. Maybe she’s not dropping out because she thinks Animal House is a documentary. Right after her apology, the screen pauses. “Abby Broyles would be elected to Congress, where she pushed through the Green New Deal with Senator AOC. She would later lose her bid for President after drunk driving into Poucha Pond on Chappaquiddick Island.”

  2. Reads like Broyles drunken shenanigans occurred over a long period of time. Hard to believe not one of the teens recorded some of it with their cell phone but since Broyles is a dem it is likely the FBI has already confiscated in a threatening manner.

    • Michael, Michael, Michael.

      If this had happened in France, no one would have blinked an eye! Or, come to think of it, if it had been Hunter Biden there would be nothing to see here!

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