Plumbing The Depths Of The Great Stupid: I Usually Don’t Continue Reading Articles That Start With First Sentences Like This One, Missing Out On Hilarious Race-Obsessed Delusions…

Before we delve into the substance of the article at issue, let me express my gratitude to author David Kaufman for giving me another opportunity to post a brilliant cartoon by one of my heroes, New Yorker satirist/philosopher/humorist Charles Addams. If you read here often, you have seen his work highlighted periodically because it is so often appropriate. In this case, that cartoon above, which made me laugh out loud when I first saw it as a high school student, immediately leapt to mind when I read that Kaufman believes the little white figures in the “walk/don’t walk” traffic lights represent white people.

Did anyone, at the New Yorker, among its readers, among the millions of people who have seen that creepy but very funny drawing in the best-selling collections of Addams’ mordant humor think for a second that it had anything to do with race? No, because it didn’t, doesn’t, and until quite recently, before The Great Stupid spread hate, fear, darkness and toxic cretinism over the land, nobody would be so woke-mad and brainwashed to see racism in everything that they would come to such a bonkers conclusion.

Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself! The article appeared on an MSN “community” called “Level,” which is “for Black men offering the best commentary on race, identity and culture, as well as tutorials on how to improve your life. Men can visit LEVEL for advice on parenting, sex, relationships, finance, wellness, and more,” or, as in this case, to make themselves dumb as bricks. I began by saying that the first sentence would have stopped me from reading the piece, but the headline was almost as funny as the Addams cartoon, so I had to at least start the thing: “The Unintentional Racism Found in Traffic Signals.” It promised to give me another perfect example of the adage, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.” (The unhinged reactions of “The Squad” to their crony paying the price for her anti-Semitism last week was another fine example.)

Here’s the first sentence offered by David Kaufman:

Washington D.C.’s pro football team. Aunt Jemima pancake products. Eskimo Pies.They’re all examples of the everyday racism that bombards people of color from the supermarket to the playing field.

That’s an impressive amount of race-baiting, paranoia and misinformation in 20 words, and nobody who writes  down such crap deserves to be read. No publication that prints it deserves to be taken seriously either.
Let’s see: the Washington Redskins football team was never racist, accounting for its fanatically popular status in a majority black city for decades. Its name was cynically declared racist by a tiny percentage of Native Americans seeking a lever for political power, and virtue-signaling non-Native Americans wanting to be offended on their behalf. But the team changed its name in a capitulation to political correctness, so its old name can’t possibly “bombard” anyone.
Similarly, Aunt Jemima products weren’t racist, unless pancakes and syrup are racist. Nor was the name even plausibly racist. In this case, it was the logo the race-obsessed objected to. Since it’s Black History Month, it is appropriate to point out that by eliminating the picture of the fictional “Aunt Jemima,” woke wadicals have managed to erase the legacy of Nancy Green, who portrayed the Aunt Jemima character at the iconic 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition in Chicago and was one of the first black corporate models in U.S. history. Sorry, Nancy: crying “systemic racism” means you’re no longer part of “black history.”
Claiming Eskimo Pies are racist is particularly absurd. Cognitive dissonance tells us that corporations don’t name consumer products after people and things that the public feels negatively about. “Eskimo” was the name the public was told designated two closely related Indigenous peoples: the Inuit  of Alaska and Canada, and the Yupik or Yuit of eastern Siberia and Alaska, because it did.  There was nothing pejorative about “Eskimo” until, as with “Redskins” and other team names that referenced Native Americans, a minority of activists decided it would be beneficial to make it so. Eskimo continues to be used in a historical, linguistic, archaeological, and cultural context (among other reasons, because no single description has been proposed to take its place), and is officially written into tribal legal documents. Now, however, because it just isn’t worth the trouble to fight with race-hucksters, the name of Eskimo Pies was changed to Edy’s Pies, and nobody has any reason to think about the Inuit or Yupik, or to associate them with a yummy treat.
Good job!
And those are the best examples of today’s everyday racism David Kaufman could think of.
But I did read on, and encountered one outrageous statement after another, like…
  • “A few months back, before Covid-19 kept us in our homes…

The Wuhan virus didn’t keep you in your home, your unthinking and craven compliance with the incompetent CDC and the totalitarian-minded local despots who sought to exploit the pandemic kept you in your home.

  • …and George Floyd made us take to the streets…”

George Floyd didn’t make you do anything, nor did the actions of one brutal cop in Minnesota. Gullible acceptance of the rhetoric of a racist, violent, scam organization cleverly called “Black Lives Matter” “made” you “take to the streets,” doing no good, much harm, and helping to spread the virus that you claim kept you in your home as you simultaneously claim to have taken to the streets.

  • ” I realize that White people like to exert control over nearly everything everyone does, I thought, but since when did this literally include trying to cross the street?”

The stupidity of this statement is epic. Is Kaufman really arguing that whites are responsible for the pedestrian crossing signals in Washington, D.C., Detroit, Chicago, and all the other cities overwhelmingly controlled by African Americans? How, exactly? Is he arguing that it is oppressive for governments to install safe-crossing signs and signals, though such powers have been accepted as basic to functioning government  for over a century?

  • “My heart still sinks at the specter of teaching my sons to ask a White man for permission to do — well, anything.”

Yup, Kaufman is the racist. And later, he even acknowledges that the “White man” in the signal isn’t really white and isn’t really a man, which I’m pretty sure any 6-year-old grasps instinctively.

Well, analyzing logic employed by the rat in the wheel that clearly stands in for the writer’s brain is a fool’s errand. Later, he wonder, in the course of his White Supremacy conspiracy theory, “why this gender- and race-neutral messaging [that is “Walk/Don’t Walk” ] had been replaced by “little White men.”

It was done to save lives, after Jimmy Carter weakened the school’s obligations to teach English, and the public schools could no longer be trusted to teach children to read. That’s why.

When I encounter opinion pieces like this one, I wish I hadn’t learned to read.


Pointer: Ann Cameron Siegal

12 thoughts on “Plumbing The Depths Of The Great Stupid: I Usually Don’t Continue Reading Articles That Start With First Sentences Like This One, Missing Out On Hilarious Race-Obsessed Delusions…

  1. I endured the article and the only response I have to the author is:

    “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5

    And you don’t even have to be religious for that to make sense.

  2. The continued and persistent and intractable failure of large segments of the black population to thrive in the United States, despite all sorts of remedial efforts since the 1960s has driven a large number of people, particularly intellectuals, absolutely stark, raving mad.

  3. Something this stupid isn’t really worth talking about at any length. The author is either an idiot or has been rendered one by too much CRT and other racial grievance garbage. The white walk symbol is not a person and has no color. It just shows up better than anything else, can’t be confused with the other symbols, and can’t be confused with any meaning other than “walk.” It has no sentience and does not do anything other than what it’s programmed to do. It certainly has no authority other that the programmers and the statutes give it. Yet the author says it’s “a white man telling him to do something,” and that’s a problem. Frankly I think the guy needs a course in basic reality.

  4. Perhaps he would prefer these crosswalk figures:
    Vienna brings in gay pedestrian crossing lights

    Having a lot of Norse and Irish DNA, I’ve considered being offended by certain Minnesota and Catholic university mascots, but that seems too easy, and has probably been tried before. Mr. Peanut is white, right? Can I be triggered by him implying whites are pretentious fops?

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