I really thought the New York Magazine article titled “Ron DeSantis Eating Pudding With His Fingers Will End His 2024 Bid” was a joke…even though it appeared in the section called “Intelligencer,” which past experience has taught me often contains the dumbest essays ever contrived by homo sapiens. But it wasn’t a joke. Margaret Hartmann, the senior editor for “Intelligencer” who wrote the thing was serious. Observe…

Ron DeSantis has been hit with a food-related accusation so weird it may end his 2024 presidential bid before it officially starts. The Daily Beast reports that according to two sources, the Florida governor once ate chocolate pudding with three fingers… I’m calling it now: This story will follow DeSantis like pudding sticks to fingers. The devil is in the details. The report doesn’t say DeSantis dipped a finger into his pudding sheepishly; he used three fingers, presumably as a scoop. And it’s established in the preceding paragraph that he regularly ate during meetings, “like a starving animal who has never eaten before… getting shit everywhere.” This paints a vivid picture of being trapped in a conference room with your boss as he shoves most of his hand into a pudding cup, scoops the goo into his mouth, licks his fingers, and goes back in for more, with chocolate still smeared around his lips. Disgusting!

Observations:

• The mainstream media must really worried about DeSantis’s prospects of winning the Presidency if it is stooping to this level of desperation sliming this early.
• All it takes is an anonymous “report” by some unnamed DeSantis-hating mole for two news sources (giving the Daily Beast the benefit of the doubt) to print “PuddingGate” as genuine news. This is the point of ultimate rot where journalism has descended in just a few years. After all, hearsay stories by anonymous sources were well-used weapons for poisoning public opinion against Donald Trump. It works!
• There isn’t even a photo or a video to back up this allegation. At least Michael Moore, as part of his campaign to slander the Bush Administration, had footage of then Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz licking his comb.
• Is how a political leader eats pudding relevant to whether that leaders is effective, competent and trustworthy? No, unequivocally. It is, however relevant on the cognitive dissonance scale. Just as positive factors like height, energy, a pleasing voice, good looks, style, charm, charisma, apparent empathy (Bill Clinton’s specialty) and other window dressing can raise the perceived desirability of candidate for a position of power, negative factors like short stature (Mike Dukakis), a five-o’clock shadow (Nixon), an annoying speaking style (LBJ, Carter, Bush II) and anti-charisma (Hillary) will lower it. Does this extend to poor table manners? Will the future of the nation hinge on whether the Florida governor can perfect pudding-eating techniques?
• Just how stupid and trivial do journalists think voters are? This story is certainly a clue.
• Based on the 2020 election results, one has to conclude that the majority of the American voting public didn’t think persistent sexual harassment, including the sniffing and unconsented-to touching of young girls, engaged in on-camera by Joe Biden was sufficiently damning to disqualify him for the Presidency. Does New York Magazine’s feminist editor believe that pudding-eating is more important than sexual harassment? Why would anyone pay attention to opinions published in a rag run by such people?
• …Unless Hartman is right, and the public really does care more about how someone eats pudding than demonstrated governing skills. In that case, the United States population may have finally become too incompetent to have a democratic form of government.