The slow-onset of warmer weather always puts me in mind of Pat Boone, who long ago gave us two classic warm weather love songs, “April Love” and “Love Letters in the Sand.” So many people and memories make me feel old these days; I resent it, because one really is as old as one feels, and I usually feel like I’m 12. Wrinkled child stars from my distant memories make me feel old; photographs make me feel old (which is why I don’t own a camera); worst of all are old friends who act old, or who always complain about the indignities of age. Pat Boone, however, is something else. He’s a lot older than me, 87, and hosts a once-a-week show on the Sirius Fifties Channel. Each installment includes recordings from Pat’s era, including some of his hits, but also many others, with Boone’s commentary and reminiscences. He’s a superb disc-jockey, conversational, articulate, glib, informative and funny: I know how much time and effort it takes to prepare an hour like that. Unlike so many singers and actors of his generation, Pat’s voice is as clear and mellifluous as always; his energy is high, his enthusiasm for his topic is delightful, and there is always a smile in his demeanor. Pat Boone is an inspiration: if that’s what results from clean living, he’s also a great role model. Pat’s going strong when he’s old enough to be my father.

And he makes me feel young.

1. Is a warning enough for a teacher like this? Anacortes High School teacher Casey Anderson has a tissue dispenser shaped like a cat, and the tissues are pulled from the cat’s ceramic butt (the appropriateness of this object is a separate question). Asked by one student how she refilled the supply of tissues, she said, “I turn down the lights, then put on some soft music and use a LOT of vaseline…”Then she retrieved a big container of petroleum jelly she had in her closet and placed it right by the “cat.” Somehow, parents had a problem with this.

The school district issued a statement saying that it had conducted an investigation and “formally reprimanded the teacher. This behavior is unacceptable and not tolerated by the district. We received several complaints from parents. The formal reprimand becomes part of an employee’s personnel file. We’re working with the employee to ensure that professional standards are met in the future.” Anderson is also the “Gay and Sexualities Alliance” adviser at the Washington high school, though the episode would be exactly as inappropriate whatever her role or personal orientation.

Parents need to trust teachers, and that means trusting their judgment and ethics alarms. Is it reasonable to trust a teacher who behaves like that even once?

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I’m jubilant! Major League Baseball and the Player’s Union agreed on a new Basic Agreement, ending the team owners’ lockout and guaranteeing that there will be a 2022 season. The terms of the agreement are irrelevant to ethics; the fact that the two adverse parties managed to come to a compromise is ethics news only to this extent: When thing are rotten—and they are—that’s when baseball, the most American and idealistic of sports (and like America, an entity that struggles to rise to its ideals) , is most needed and appreciated. It is why FDR urged baseball to keep playing during World War II. Baseball also keeps Ethics Alarms in good supply of issues that easily transfer to other aspects of society.

Whew. That was a close one!

1. Yet another dumb Russian “sanction” that hurts nobody involved with the invasion! First I learned that the famous Russian Tea Room in Manhattan was the target of a boycott, though its founders were from Ukraine, and it is, you know, run by Americans. Then this news arrived: The American Kennel Club announced,

The American Kennel Club is opposed to the ongoing crisis in the Ukraine. In solidarity with the Ukrainian people, effective immediately, judges from the Russian Federation will not be approved to judge at AKC sanctioned events. Additionally, new requests for imported dog registrations (AKC Foreign Registration) from the Russian Kennel Federation will be denied effective immediately. We continue to explore options to provide assistance to the Ukrainian people and their pets during this crisis.

I would say “This is getting ridiculous!” but it got ridiculous some time ago. [Pointer: Mrs. Q]

2. Georgetown Law Center suspended a professor who criticized using racial and gender discrimination to pick SCOTUS nominees, but the University let this U.S. hating fanatic speak to on campus.

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