A commenter just nominated the Republicans in the Montana State Legislature for “Incompetent Elected Official” status because they have proposed “The Code of the West” as  Montana’s State Code.

Nomination rejected. I don’t want to argue about whether a state needs a State Code, although it seems a lot more useful and constructive than state birds, state songs and state pies. I also don’t feel like debating the political correctness attacks on the potential use of the Code of the West by Native American activists, who apparently think the Code glorifies cowboys and insults Indians (Oh, all right: the complaint is nonsense. Valid ideals are not sullied by the misdeeds of those who espoused them.) But I like the cowboy codes, all of them. One is already on the site. I might not choose the same ten tenets of the unwritten Code of the West that is being debated in Montana, but the Code of the West is a perfectly good statement of ethical principles, and any state that embraces it should be praised, not embroiled in a lot of political posturing.

Here is a version of The Code of the West. Pick your favorite ten rules; it’s hard to go wrong, though the obsession with whiskey is a little off-topic, and the horse-related ones are not as relevant as they once were.

My ten favorites are in bold.

THE CODE OF THE WEST

• Don’t inquire into a person’s past.
• Take the measure of a man for what he is today.
• Never steal another man’s horse. A horse thief pays with his life.
• Defend yourself whenever necessary.
• Look out for your own.
• Remove your guns before sitting at the dining table.
• Never order anything weaker than whiskey.
• Don’t make a threat without expecting dire consequences.
• Never pass anyone on the trail without saying “Howdy”.
• When approaching someone from behind, give a loud greeting before you get within shooting range.
• Don’t wave at a man on a horse, as it might spook the horse. A nod is the proper greeting.
• After you pass someone on the trail, don’t look back at him.  It implies you don’t trust him.
• Riding another man’s horse without his permission is nearly as bad as making love to his wife.
• Never even bother another man’s horse.
• Always fill your whiskey glass to the brim.
• A cowboy doesn’t talk much; he saves his breath for breathing.
• No matter how weary and hungry you are after a long day in the saddle, always tend to your horse’s needs before your own, and get your horse some feed before you eat.
• Cuss all you want, but only around men, horses and cows.
• Complain about the cooking and you become the cook.
• Always drink your whiskey with your gun hand, to show your friendly intentions.
• Do not practice ingratitude.
• A cowboy is pleasant even when out of sorts.
• Complaining is what quitters do, and cowboys hate quitters.
• Always be courageous. Cowards aren’t tolerated in any outfit worth its salt.
• A cowboy always helps someone in need, even a stranger or an enemy.
• Never try on another man’s hat.
• Be hospitable to strangers. Anyone who wanders in, including an enemy, is welcome at the dinner table.
• Give your enemy a fighting chance.
• Never wake another man by shaking or touching him, as he might wake suddenly and shoot you.
• Real cowboys are modest.  A braggart who is “all gurgle and no guts” is not tolerated.
• Be there for a friend when he needs you.
• Drinking on duty is grounds for instant dismissal and blacklisting.
• A cowboy is loyal to his “brand,” to his friends, and those he rides with.
• Never shoot an unarmed or unwarned enemy.
• Never shoot a woman no matter what.
• Don’t stir up dust around the chuckwagon
• Don’t wake up the wrong man for herd duty
• Respect the land and the environment by not smoking in hazardous fire areas, disfiguring rocks, trees, or other natural areas.
• Honesty is absolute – your word is your bond, and a handshake is more binding than a contract.
• Live by the Golden Rule.