These lawyers do not exist.

Cromwell and Goodwin’s new website is a mystery. Nobody knows why it exists, or who created it. It appears to be the website of a law firm, if a somewhat language-challenged one. The problem: the law firm doesn’t exist. Its history is imaginary. Its partners do not exist. Its headquarters in New York at 221 E 18th St # 1 New York, NY 10003-3620 are vacant.

The firm, or whatever it is, claims to be 30 years old but only got around to launching  a website on March 19 of this year. A press release on a free publicity distribution service called PRLog.org about Cromwell & Goodwin’s involvement in an upcoming conference  regarding telecommunications consolidation projects in emerging markets also surfaced, for no discernible reason. The release referred to Joachim Fleury, a London-based Clifford Chance  partner, as “Global Head of Cromwell & Goodwin.”  Yet neither Clifford Chance, one of the largest law firms in the world, nor Fleury, who is real, knew anything about Cromwell & Goodwin when they were queried by reporters.

The Financial Services Authority, Britain’s leading financial regulator, has issued a warning about Cromwell & Goodwin, which describes itself as a New York-based law firm. This is dubious, and not just because nobody can find its New York headquarters. The website includes several British touches, such as the spelling of “organization” with an “s” rather than a “z.” The most popular theory is that the website is being used in some kind of scam, victim or victims unknown.  Meanwhile, the website itself has become the source of endless speculation and entertainment over such features as its peculiar call for resumes:

“Do you want a challenging career with exceptional compensation and benefits and can give you a lifetime professional development? You need not to go anywhere because Cromwell and Goodwin has more than something to offer you!”

This may be true, since the firm itself isn’t “anywhere.” But what the heck is “more than something”?

Then there’s the puzzle about why the website says the firm was founded 29 years ago but has been practicing law for “more than 30 years.” Why are only five lawyers named on the site, and who are the rest of the 300 attorneys the site claims are part of the firm?  How come all the names are American or English sounding, but so many of the lawyers pictured on the site appear to be Asian? Why is named partner “Liberty Goodwin” described as a “she”, yet when Am Law Daily finally reached a heavily accented woman named “Sonya” on the firms phone line, she described Goodwin as male. And is “Sonya” by chance related to “Peggy,” the man pretending to be a woman in the Discover Card commercials?

Mysteries all.

One thing is certain, however. Cromwell and Goodwin, and its website, are up to no good.