Offering a pointed response to Lisa Long’s blog post about her emotionally-ill son and the suffering Long has endured, is new commenter Fixitsurprise. When I first read the post, I actually thought that she might be Lisa Long’s daughter, so to those like me whose faculties are still addled from too much eggnog and viewings of “A Christmas Story,” remember that Long’s post was titled, “I am Adam Lanza’s Mother.” Fixitsurprise is table-turning.
Here is Fixitsurprise’s Comment of the Day on “Lisa Long’s Unethical, Despicable Bargain: Betrayal For A Blog Post”:
“I am Lisa Long’s Daughter.”
“My mother labeled me as mentally ill when I was 12 to avoid taking on any responsibility for my issues. I was sent to mental hospitals. I was sent to a behavior modification facility. Countless doctors and lots of meds with horrible side effects. I was forced to sign a contract admitting I was mentally ill and promising to be on medication the rest of my life to get out of reform school. She wouldn’t rest until I had a diagnosis that absolved her. I yelled and screamed and acted out. I did so because I had no voice, no respect, and was not allowed to make any boundaries whatsoever. She gave me poetry that spoke of how she was a victim of my illness. She was public about her struggles. How hard it was to have me. I burned it but the words still haunt me to this day. I am an adult now with the perspective of 18 years of parenting my own child. We do need to change the conversation about mental illness in this country, but what Long ironically, and unintentionally points out, is that a big part of the conversation needs to be about the family dynamic. That parents contribute, that society contributes, and that no psychiatric professional and no prescription can heal the child of a mother with a victim complex.”
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Graphic: Cascadesmurf
Ethics Alarms 
Very true. I wish there was some way to encourage her kid, that they can get away from someone like her who seems an attention-happy variant of Munshausen and come to have a better life.
I’ve been a regular visitor to your site for about 2 months. I wanted to chime in on this since it hits close to home. My brother has been in and out mental hospitals for 4 years for bipolar disorder. He’s 27 and hasn’t made a life for himself at all. He couldn’t even keep a minimum wage job, let alone establish a career.
My parents have enabled his behavior for years. He’s the product of poor parenting. Reading that comment really hit home for me. I just made 35 last week. I’ve dealt with a layoff due to the financial crisis of 2008. I had an 8 year career in real estate and banking. I have accepted the fact that I will never work in that industry again. In fact, I don’t want to. But I’ve taken steps to change careers. It hasn’t been easy. I continually hit brick walls. But I preservere.
In between all this, my father had a massive heart attack. I take care of him. I’m responsible for all his medical care- making sure he is taking his meds properly and going to the many physicians and specialists. The good news is he still has his independence. Unfortunately, my brother lives with my father. My brother found our Dad and was sane enough to administer CPR and call 911. Yet in all other aspects(such as verbally abusing my father, mother and me, and punching holes in walls), he’s bipolar!!! My brother doesn’t do anything else but cause chaos.
After an egregious event occurred at my expense, I’ve had to cut ties with my brother. I’m also having to keep a distance from my father. He didn’t do anything to defend me or to call out my brother’s behavior. And that’s the problem. Standards have been lowered for him. And I’m expected to pick up the pieces.
I read that ridiculous post after the shootings from that incompetent mother, not willing to take responsibility for her poor parenting and playing victim.
Granted, the mental health system is flawed in this country. But the fact remains, mental health care is a consequence of the ideas that have now taken root in this country. Ideas that are opposite of the country’s founding. There’s a lot of junk science that’s used to excuse anyone’s bad behavior. My question is how do you tell an enabling father that he is contributing to the delinquency of his grown son? And how do you tell a mother to stop being a perpetual rescuer to someone who doesn’t want to be responsible?
My apologies for the length of this comment.
Terrific comment. No apologies necessary. Thanks.
It ultimately comes down to the parents.