The Ultimate Pazuzu At TNT Academy


Frequent readers here will be familiar with the Pazuzu Excuse. Pazuzu was the demon that made Linda Blair say such awful things in “The Exorcist”—he also made her head swivel around 180 degrees. Pazuzu is the presumptive miscreant whenever someone tried to beg forgiveness for a particularly vile, and often career-threatening remark by arguing that the statement “didn’t reflect my true beliefs,” as if someone else had suddenly grabbed the controls. Michael Richards (“Kramer” on “Seinfeld”) was, therefore, mystified about why he suddenly started screaming “Nigger!” at a stand-up comedy performance. Mel Gibson swore that all the anti-Semitic slurs he uttered on a fateful night were of mysterious origin, since he isn’t the kind of guy who would act like that. (Later events proved this to be mistaken.) There are many examples from the famous, momentarily famous and not famous at all.

The Full Pazuzu is reached when someone implies that what was said or written suggests a different identity. Sony executive Amy Pascal, to cite a recent example, explained her hacked e-mails (which really weren’t that bad) by writing,

“The content of my emails were insensitive and inappropriate but are not an accurate reflection of who I am…”

Whoever or whatever those e-mails were an accurate reflection of, they fired him/her/it.

Now, however, by way of Stone Mountain, Georgia, comes a rare Ultimate Pazuzu, where the individual under fire really blamed the devil. [NOTE: Pazuzu isn’t the devil, but he works for him, so under the principle of agency, it’s a distinction without a difference.]

During graduating exercises at TNT High School, Principal Nancy Gordeuk inadvertently declared the ceremony over before the valedictorian’s speech. Everyone began to leave as she realized her mistake and used the microphone to call the assembled back to their seats. After some heated words with an angry parents, she was heard to condemning the people leaving early, saying “Look who’s leaving … all the black people.”

Nancy Gordeuk is white. Of course, she was videotaped.

Furiously attempting to save her job after the incident’s video caused a national uproar on social media, Gordeuk blamed it all on the devil, e-mailing in part:

“A terrible mistake on my part of the graduation ceremony on Friday night. The devil was in the house and came out from my mouth. I deeply apologize for my racist comment and hope that forgiveness in your hearts.”

She’s toast, of course, or should be.  Still, she completely embraced this ridiculous, dishonest and cowardly excuse like few others, and that’s impressive, as well as useful. Now we have The Ultimate Pazuzu, unless, I suppose, someone blames the demon Pazuzu by name, which would be alarming.

If the incident involves either a spinning head or projectile vomiting, I, for one, will be inclined to believe it.

33 thoughts on “The Ultimate Pazuzu At TNT Academy

    • Tourette’s doesn’t always involve recognizable words. And it’s not common enough for the average uninitiated to know about it.

      • True. Some involve no words at all, but tics. My version causes obscenities, cheating on exams, cheating on spouses, cheating on taxes, speeding, peeping, speed-peeping, horse-theft, money laundering, horse-laundering, manufacturing crank, and cannibalism.

          • That’s Pazuzu at work, without question. However, if Joe expects me to entice the infernal critter into my body and then throw myself out a window, I’m afraid he’s in for a minor disappointment! I already have my hands full getting rid of Beelzebub…

  1. I’ll never forget the day we went to visit a black family We were close with, back when I was about 10. We brought along my aunt, and our cousins. We were heading outside to play with our host family’s kids, and being that we were in Northern Hartford, my Aunt said “don’t run off too far”. My cousin Michael, about my age, said “are you kidding, with all those boogies running around?!?” Oh, the horror, the horror! Even I was embarrased, and that’s saying something. Ciola and her boys, gracious and kind people that they were, laughed like it was the funniest thing they’d heard in months.

  2. You should all go easy on her, she was talking about the color of their souls, not their skin. (At least that would have been a better excuse, but pretty much anything would be).

  3. TNT Academy? Is it run by ISIS? Turner Network Television? The Nobel Foundation? You can’t call a basketball team in D.C. or Baltimore The Bullets, but you can name a high school in Atlanta after the acronym for high explosives?

  4. There’s an old joke about a man castigating his wife for sepnding so much money on a new dress. He said, “You promised that the next time you were tempted to spend that much on a dress you would say ‘Get behind me, Satan.’ ” “I did,” said the wife, “but he leaned over my shoulder and said ‘It looks pretty good from back here, too.’ “

  5. I like your gradations of the excuse:

    1. The Pazuzu Excuse – .”Yeah, it’s what I said but it was taken out of context. I didn’t mean what you think it meant.”
    2. The Full Pazuzu – “What I said isn’t me.” Nice. And last, but not least:
    3. The Ultimate Pazuzu – “I don’t know who that was talking out of my mouth. Good golly. I don’t even know what those words mean?”

    Those are very useful tools.


    • Your number 3 is apparently the one everyone comes to first when writing an “apology”. Gotta wonder why.

  6. Sounds bad, yes, but I think it’s important to remember that many people still believe that demons, angels, and Satan not only exist but have a day-to-day influence in our lives.

    Not that someone with such backwards beliefs should be in charge of educating our children anyway

    • Should I assume that you think that people who believe in God should not have the ability to teach children, either? So, are we stuck with only atheists as teachers?

      • Apparently. For people who don’t want religion pushed on them, they’re pretty pushy about their religion (atheism).

        • And make no mistake…atheism is a religion, at least to these people. In my own case atheism is strictly a matter of a lack of belief. I also happen to believe most strongly that true believers have a right to that belief…until they start knocking on my door.

          • Knock, knock: “Mr. Dragon, have you found Jesus?” “No. Does he wear a Med-Alert bracelet with your phone number on it in case I do?”

              • When faced with a serious social faux pas (like passing gas in a crowded elevator) I usually resort to the excuse of “the deevil made me do it”. It sometimes reduces the severity of the beating.

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