I know this is like shooting fish in a barrel—dead fish, in fact— but I need some levity about now. Of course it’s no joke, and indeed tragic, that a certifiable fanatic like Gohmert can reach a position of influence in our government, and a greater tragedy that there are so many equally unfit officials, from both parties. Few, however, are willing or able to expose their cognitive deficiencies as deftly as Congressman Gohmert.
When a gay, progressive friend posted the story about this, I assumed that he had been caught (again) in a web hoax. Surely Gohmert isn’t THAT stupid. Nobody is that stupid in Congress, surely. Yet he is, and the story was correct and true.
This happened a while back, during the “general speeches” portion of House proceedings on May 26, 2016. It was little noted, because if it had been, I would hope that GOP leaders would have placed him in a padded room and denied him the opportunity to ever speak for the party again.
Here, in part, was Gohmert’s anti-gay, science fiction rant (the video of his whole speech is above):
“I really wonder how many people in this body who had the ultimate power to decide whether the human race would go forward or not… Whether it was an asteroid coming, something that would end humanity on earth, as dinosaurs were ended at one time… Ok we’ve got a spaceship that can go, as Matt Damon did in the movie, plant a colony somewhere, we can have humans survive this terrible disaster about to befall. If you could decide what 40 people you put on the spacecraft that would save humanity, how many of those would be same sex couples? You’re wanting to save humankind for posterity, basically a modern day Noah, you have that ability to be a modern day Noah, you can preserve life, how many same sex couples would you take from the animal kingdom and from humans to put on a spacecraft to perpetuate humanity and the wildlife kingdom?”
Really, what a moron.
So determined was Gohmert to continue the basis for the original, ancient taboo against homosexuality (tribes needed as much procreation as possible to survive, and homosexuality literally threatened the continuation of the group), that he manufactured a hypothetical scenario in which it might be justified again. What possible legitimate purpose could this have, except to stigmatize gays and mark them as second-class citizens and human beings? Fortunately, so addled is Gohmert’s reasoning that for anyone with an evolved brain, his babbling stigmatized Christian Right zealots and marked them as second-class Congressmen.
And, as science and culture site Inverse points out, Gohmert’s fantasy doesn’t even make sense within its own biased illusions:
Just for fun, let’s say Gohmert’s crazy “modern-day Noah situation” comes true, and we do have to cram 40 people on a ship to continue the human race. First off, you need a whole lot more than 40 people to ensure good genetic diversity when starting a new population (10,000+ is best), so we’d already be screwed as far as that goes.
Second, just because someone is gay doesn’t mean that they’re incapable of reproducing. Homosexual males could still donate sperm, and homosexual females could still bear children, because we are human beings and we have brains and science and artificial insemination. And on that not, because we are thinking, rational beings, people have value beyond just their use as “breeding pairs,” or whatever kind of fucked-up situation Gohmert was imagining on his hellish Ark-ship.
If the best particle physicist or artificial intelligence researcher in the world were gay, it would sure be a better idea to stick them on the ship than calling Rob Gronkowski just because he’s a gigantic heap of virile heterosexual (probably, unfortunately) male flesh.
The fact that people as dim and biased as Louie Gohmert are making our laws and involved in national policy is almost too depressing to contemplate.
Wait, this post was supposed to cheer me up!
Ethics Alarms 
Either Congressman Gomert is drunk or he’s a rambling moronic buffoon!
Oops, Gohmert is the correct spelling.
What? You don’t like the multiple spellings for variety?
%$#@%&(*!!!!
🙂
Don’t rule out a drunk rambling moronic buffoon…
No, just extremely far right and something of a conspiracy theorist (he believes that terror cells are having women deliver children here, then taking them abroad to be raised as terrorists). I’m a righty, but guys like this we don’t need – he’s a caricature of being conservative.
Steve-O-in-NJ said, “…he’s a caricature of being conservative.”
Exactly!
All those Liberal political cartoons coming to life;. exactly like Trump!
I’ve been saying for a while now that Trump is literally a caricature of what the Liberals think Conservative ideology and values are all about not what real Conservative ideology and values are all about; that’s exactly why Liberals “think” Trump is a Conservative. Congressman Gohmert adds fuel to the argument fires of the political left.
I just listened to Congressman Gohmert’s speech, he’s a damn bigoted fool. Bigotry really pisses me off!
Being a politician he is probably both.
You’re surprised? Really? When Trump is the presumptive Republican nominee?
Mmm… could there have been such a rocket with 40 chosen crew members who were sent to populate a planet… and TV networks recruit there?
Breeding pairs????
Nah.
You just need General Buck Turgidson and 39 super intelligent women such as your doctors and rocket scientists and such.
You’re not wrong. Rep. Gohmert must have never visited dairy farm or anywhere that raised chickens or read Seveneves. Four villages can share a bull, one or two roosters will do you just fine and, well, spoilers.
I’m just worried about a mine shaft gap.
I realize the genetic pre-disposition to idiocy is no respecter of state lines, but we sure seem to get more than our fair share in Texas. At last we are EIOC(Equal Idiocy Opportunity Commission) certified…just as many idiot Democrats as Republicans.
Think you have it bad in Texas? Visit us in Pence-land.
Bad in Texas?
Low crime, economic mobility, low taxes, ability to SIMULTANEOUSLY be black AND open carry in the middle of an Active Shooter scenario and NOT be shot by the police?
Throw in great Tex-Mex, ignore the summer temperatures, and it’s practically paradise.
Can’t ignore the summer temperatures. I’ve been to Austin in July and Houston in September.
Well, just do what real Texans do: avoid Austin at all costs (unless you’ve been condemned there by election) and only visit Houston for holiday – winter holiday.
Fair enough, El Paso was quite pleasant the one time I visited–in December.
Unfortunately, I’ve got family in both cities. Brother-in-law I can live without but grandkids and great-grandkids in Houston.
I was replying only to the comment above my own. I was not taking a swipe at your State.
It’s my state, too. Born here, reared here, proud Texan. But there is NOTHING we can do about the weather, and very little about Austin. South Texas is especially nasty, especially July-August.
As I was reading my thought was “and your point? what’s your fucking point!?”
Alex said, “As I was reading my thought was “and your point? what’s your fucking point!?” “
You’d think that any intelligent person could have recognized the point that was set aside in a paragraph all its own;
“Really, what a moron.”
In my humble opinion, I think those four words summed up Jacks point quite nicely.
I was talking about my reaction to Gohmert’s quote 🙂
It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion. I agree with Jack, he’s a moron.
Oops, I obviously misunderstood. 🙂
Here’s a good simile: Mocking Gohmert is like shooting fish in a barrel containing nothing but fish. It’s almost impossible to not hit a juicy target.
I still get a chuckle out of remembering the time Gohmert told Sec. Eric Holder to stop “casting aspersions on my, on my asparagus”… until I realize that this is a real person with access to the real levers of power, and not one of the buffoonish Senators depicted in Nam-A-Rama.
If there were no gays on the space ship, there would be no arts on the future planet. No musicians, no actors, no painters, no poets, no writers. What a dreary place. Ironically, i think even with forty people, you’d be pretty assured of having some gay genes in the gene pool. You’d probably get at least a few gay people in the next generation. I’d even bet you’d get a few gay guys if you picked hyper macho guys thinking that would be safe. A few of them would probably be closeted gay guys (maybe even born again Christian congressmen).
His hypothetical is simply hilarious. And I really got a kick out of the website sighing over Gronkowski not being gay.
I’d give this post two thumbs up as humorous diversion.
Is that guy Gohmert the speech coach for Trump?
luckyesteeyoreman said, “Is that guy Gohmert the speech coach for Trump?”
Trump speech coach; that’s a laugh!
Seems like an unnecessary shot at gronkowski.
That’s funny. Comment of the month material.
See the 2016 RNC policy platform. It makes Gohmert look like a genius.
What worries me more is not what Gohmert is saying but the people who elected him.