This would be an early song from the obscure, unfinished and strangely prescient Rodgers and Stephen King musical, “The Sound of Panic,” the draft manuscript of which was recently discovered in a Maine landfill. The Democratic nomination process is slipping into ethics train wreck territory, if it isn’t there already. But it’s an astounding story. It would make a great musical, but one more like “Sweeney Todd” than “The Sound of Music.”
When I first set eyes on Joe Biden after a couple of years, when he emerged in 2015 to run for the Democratic nomination, I was shocked at how old and enervated he appeared. When I heard him speak, I realized that he was slipping from his barely tolerable career-long muddle-headedness into senility or dementia. Reaching this conclusion required no special perception on my part; it merely required an absence of denial. I could not believe, and wrote as much here, that Biden could ever be the Democratic nominee. No matter how unpromising the field of candidates was—and it was historically awful—voters couldn’t possibly vote for “Slow Joe,” as our perpetually juvenile POTUS cruelly dubbed him.
Yet here we are. Biden, having been the beneficiary of the besieged “moderates” of the now thoroughly radicalized Democratic Party coalescing behind a single representative as its best chance to defeat President Trump (essentially the Democrats have become the “Hate Trump Party,” quickly pivoting its position on anything to the opposite of whatever he advocates or does) is now broadcasting from a bunker somewhere during the Wuhan virus emergency, reminding everyone sentient of the carnage to come in November after Biden quadruples the number of doomsday gaffes in all of US Presidential debate history.
Think about it: a single moment of brain lock sunk Gerald Ford in 1976, when he inexplicably said that Poland wasn’t an Iron Curtain country. Then, in 1980, Jimmy Carter caused America to doubt his seriousness and honesty when he cited his daughter Amy, then 9, as an expert on nuclear armaments while debating Ronald Reagan. How do Democrats think the public will respond when Biden suddenly starts reciting a recipe for Rice Krispie Squares in response to a question about immigration? Even Trump Hate has its limits for those not in the late stages of the disease. Admittedly, the number of those is staggering, with total U.S. cases exceeding cases of the Wuhan Virus in China even if China wasn’t faking its numbers.
Fox pundit Tucker Carlson has gone of record as guaranteeing that Biden will not be the nominee, though he cannot explain how that might happen. It is inconceivable that Biden would voluntarily withdraw now after he is finally so close to achieving the goal that eluded him for so long (because even Democrats realized that he wasn’t Presiential material). If Democrats do what I advised the Republican Party to do in 2016, conclude that the candidate with most of the delegates was nonetheless unqualified and too dangerous to present to the public as an option to elect President, only chaos and division can follow. Bernie Sanders will, reasonably, demand to be the nominee, and the sad shell of Biden was propped up by the party for so long specifically to prevent that possibility. The result of choosing someone else—Governer Cuomo is the new hotness, but he hasn’t even said that he’s interested in running, or, God help us (and them) Hillary—will be a divided party and the one thing all of this blundering was launched to prevent, the re-election of Donald Trump.
Carlson has condemned Biden’s family for allowing him to run, thus putting his sad and frightening decline on public display. Tucker’s right: this was unethical in many ways. But again: here we are.
Biden’s video messages have been an unalloyed disaster, so he is now he is trying a podcast. It isn’t live, so there is an opportunity for an editor to try to make Joe coherent, but that would take a ventriloquist at this point. Blessed Ann Althouse checked the transcript of the the first one so I don’t have to (Thanks, Ann!) and found…
“So I wanted to have this conversation with you now if we could, why am I doing this? Well, first so we can keep talking with each other or we can’t hold rallies anymore, but we’re not gathering in large public spaces…. And a, the second reason is I think this podcast could offer some really helpful information. I’ve seen these kinds of crises before and uh, and I’ve sat in the situation room in the oval office and we’ve grappled three crises from Daniel outbreak to the Iran nuclear deal to the auto industry rescue. And, uh, during that time I’ve been able to work with some pretty accomplished experts, women and men who have steered us through epidemics and demic…. [T]he young people who think they don’t have to worry about social dissonance distancing I should say. You know, do it for older people in your life…. You know, I have overwhelming faith in the American people when the American people have never, ever, ever, ever, ever let their country down when faced with a challenge. Never. And they’re smart. I am so darn proud. It sounds corny to be an American. How, look how we’re pulling together…. And, uh, you know, my heart goes out to all those folks who have lost somebody or have someone in the hospital who’s suffering. It just, it’s an enormous, enormous burden. And, uh, but, uh, we’re thinking about you. I really mean it and I, all Americans are pulling together, so we’re going to get through this… And, uh, in the meantime, everybody stay healthy, stay safe, and, uh, I’ll be talking to you regularly. Thank you so much.”
“Social dissonance distancing?”
Althouse further reports,
I went back to the website to see if they’d edited the transcript. And the transcript is gone! It was embarrassing. But they could have employed an editor… unless the raw audio itself is embarrassing. I know I didn’t listen. Who will listen to a podcast of Biden talking? I don’t see how Biden can win any new votes with this podcast.
At least with a transcript, we can search for interesting things to pass on in social media, but Biden’s people have got to worry that his antagonists will look for the worst thing he said and use it to stir up contempt for their man. You know, like the mainstream media do to Trump every damned day.
“How did they let this mess get out of hand?”
14 thoughts on “Everybody SING! “How Do You Treat A Problem Like Joe Biden?””
Somebody more creative than I am will have to write those parody lyrics.
Oh, for a meme of somebody, anybody, standing near Biden and doing a face palm like Facebook keeps saying that doctor did at one of Trump’s briefings.
In fact, Dr. Fauci covered his face because Trump’s “Deep State Department” mad him laugh. It wasn’t a facepalm.
Do I really want to believe facts over my self-isolating FB friends with too much time on their hands?
Any teenager can edit audio on their iPhone better than this using GarageBand. Not only is Joe over the hill, so are his campaign advisors. They should be sued for malpractice.
It is impossible not to imagine the malpractice to come if Joe becomes and stays President. As I’ve posted here…get Joe elected, kick Joe out for past misdeeds brought to the fore after the election and, voila, Liz Warren or Kamala Harris become President. Scared yet? Then Pete completes the package as the new Vice President consolidating their core constituencies.
As my longtime Usenet ally, Christopher Charles Morton wrote, a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Grandpa Simpson.
A humble contribution (with apologies to the von Trapp family)
He’s running free for all to see
He hasn’t got a prayer
They all say that it’s his time now
But we know he’s not all there
Yet Democratic big shots
For the White House do prepare
They can’t wait for next year’s inauguration
He can’t complete a sentence,
Always garbling his spiel.
And Bernie Bros complain the
Nomination he will steal.
No Democrat dare say it
But all very strongly feel
No way he’ll be the leader of this nation
So as we wait for yet another gaffe
Sleepy Joe still makes us laugh
How do you solve a problem like Joe Biden?
Why would you think he’s fit to wear the crown?
How do you find a word that means Joe Biden?
Malarkey creator! A hair-sniffing menace! A clown!
Many a thing he really wants to tell you
Most things that only he will understand
So how do they make him stay?
The damages to allay
How can they make a loser something grand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Joe Biden?
This isn’t turning out like we had planned!
Thanks, Doc. That was a shot in the arm.
I think the Democrats only see Joe as a place holder. I think they expect the VP to be the real party leadership choice, Joe will step or be pushed out due to health concerns likely before the general.
Michael Goodwin’s thoughts on the matter. I do agree that Trump’s “wartime” approach is working pretty well. I would add that Biden’s sniping at Trump from a bunker makes him look like Brainy Smurf, who never gets anything done himself but constantly criticizes everyone else and says he could have done it better, all in that irritating voice.
Obama would definitely be the one to deliver the news that he needs to step aside, but I’m sure Biden would try to make it look like he was doing this at his family’s advice. Goodwin’s ideas for a replacement are bananas, though. Cuomo had his moment (a lot of my liberal friends were fangirling over him), but he is a New York liberal through and through, with enough baggage that he was one step away from Preet Bahara indicting him (and just getting close is dangerous to political viability). He’s also too anti-everything to sell in swing states. His statement that conservatives were unwelcome in New York renders him particularly problematic. Nancy “Bug Eyes” Pelosi? She’s 80 and if anything, more out of it than Joe. She also just posted two huge losses, the failed impeachment and her holding up the relief bill (why?), not to mention she’s perceived as having lost control of the party to a trio/quartet of snot-nosed kids. Hillary? The Democrats never rerun losers for a reason, and the Clinton star has lost its shine.
Still, who else is there? Bloomberg? The last time anybody bombed like him Japan surrendered. Sanders? The party doesn’t want to run him for a reason (he would lose badly). Mayor Pete? Mayors of middle-tier cities don’t get elected President. I think the Democrats are in a tough spot.
I heard some people call for Meghan Markle to be named the Democratic Presidential nominee. I think it is a brilliant idea. She is popular among Democrats (royalty always is), attractive, she can read convincingly from a teleprompter, she is a POC, and she is a woman. That is ever last qualification needed to be a Democratic President except she isn’t a homosexual or trans. Oh well, maybe she can say she is anyway.
That Biden “transcript” is incoherent.
So we want to replace Trump, a guy for whom English often sounds like a second language, with “social dissonance distancing” Biden? At least Trump is able to complete sentences and express coherent thoughts, “covfefe” notwithstanding. A 12-year old is perceptive enough to know something’s not right with old Joe.
How can Democrats be anything but utterly depressed?
You can’t depress manics while they’re in the manic phase.
Well, we have the Democratic and Republican Parties to thank for this. Over the last couple of decades, they have allowed the elites (the Deep State, if you will) to run the country. In a party where unelected officials and people behind the scenes are expected to make the decisions, strong leaders are discouraged. It has been so long since we have had a president that it is now considered an impeachable offense. You could hear it in all the House Testimony, with people like Lt. Col. Vindmann telling us that the President was trying to ‘interfere’ in US foreign policy and that had to be stopped by impeaching Trump.
If you have such a situation, your candidates are just figureheads who look good and can speak from a teleprompter. Look at the last election. In the Republican field, who looked like leaders? Only Trump and Cruz. What did Trump and Cruz have in common? They weren’t really Republicans. They weren’t RNC-blessed real Republicans. The ‘official’ candidates were just stuffed suits because that is all the establishment wanted. Fast forward to 2020 and look at the Democratic field. Without Hillary Clinton there, it is obvious how hollow the Democratic Party is as well. Only Bernie Sanders seems to have some kind of vision. Name a Democratic Official who is better. Any in the country, any at all. Look at why they say they want Cuomo as the candidate; he speaks well on TV!
Now, the Democratic Party may just disregard the primaries and name whoever they want. They have planned this before. Apparently, in 1988, if Michael Dukakis hadn’t been able to beat Jesse Jackson, the DNC was going to have a brokered convention and name Mario Cuomo as the candidate. Nothing puts the democratic in Democratic Party than disregarding the electorate and putting up a candidate that no one voted for. At least this time, they have a candidate who is not mentally competent, it is a better excuse than saying they can’t have a candidate who is black.
Oh, and anyone who says Grechen Whitmer should realize that the Governor who ran on the platform of ‘fixing the roads’, couldn’t get her roads plan passed, took out a huge loan with $1.6 billion in interest by executive order, and hasn’t used it to fix the roads yet. She is in this mess because she continues to divert the tax revenue from the road taxes to other uses.