Friday Open Forum, “But It Feels Like Sunday” Edition

I apologize: I didn’t focus on the fact that this was Friday until just now. Even at ProEthics, which never rests or takes a vacation, it has been so quiet that I was lulled into weekend mode. All the l-tryptophan didn’t help either. But there is still time to…

Ethics away!

(Ugh. I hate that fad Madison Avenue use of nouns, as in “Let’s movie!” I had to try it once to be sure just how much I hated it. Sorry.)

12 thoughts on “Friday Open Forum, “But It Feels Like Sunday” Edition

  1. Ethics away? “Ethics” is the verb? That’s horrible. As bad as my least favorite lazy speak: saying, “Because [something], hipply leaving out the “of.” As in, the case of my college’s “capital campaign,” “Because Hamilton.” The idiots in the “development department,” (fancy word for “fundraisers”) doubtless paid some advertising or “strategic consultants” hundreds of thousands of alumni gifted dollars for that piece of idiocy. “Because Hamilton” doesn’t teach English anymore? But I digress.

    Maybe I should save this for a Friday when someone’s reading, but here goes.

    This is a question for the women among the EA commentariat: For women, has feminism effectively reduced childbearing and -rearing, and perhaps even heterosexual sex, to nothing more than an imposition?

  2. I think it all depends on one’s definition of “feminism”. I used to think it simply meant that women were overall equal to men in terms of career opportunities, earning potential, deciding whether or not they wanted to get married and/or have kids, etc.. These days, it seems that a lot of women I know feel that being a feminist means that “women are the SAME as men”. Well, forgive me for being a traitor to my gender (which yes I have been called) but I believe that there ARE significant differences between the sexes. Oh, and I’m also apparently a traitor and a woman-hater for being pro-life. (Who knew?)

    As the female half of a boring old married, heterosexual couple who has been trying to get pregnant for over a decade, I really don’t think my hubby & I fit the “norm” anymore.

    We’ve noticed that in just the last decade, our friends and the couples we’ve met during that time have significantly changed their overall outlook quite a bit.

    Fewer couples are getting married: “who, like, needs a stupid piece of paper or like, some rando God to decide if our love is like, legit?”

    There are several who used to be just plain old straight or gay but are now queer, non-binary, transgender, and/or enjoying throuples or orgies. (Am I the only one who remembers a time- not too long ago-when people were desperate to NOT be labeled? Now people label themselves and each other like it’s the single most important task on Earth!)

    There are self-proclaimed feminists who want to be so independent that they legitimately can’t coexist in a healthy partnership. They’re constantly proving that they can pay their own way, that they don’t need anyone (especially a MAN!) to be fulfilled, that really, the human race would be better off if said men didn’t exist at all. These women are always SO MUCH FUN to be around! Lol.

    On the other hand, there are women who call themselves feminists who somehow don’t believe they should have to contribute anything at all, especially not financially…just sit back & reap the rewards simply for being a woman, especially an attractive one.

    We have a shameless relative who shall remain nameless. Her gift to the world? Popping out babies left & right for two obvious reasons: 1-She doesn’t have to work outside the home any longer (she got advanced degrees claiming such passion for her field but even when offered free childcare, she had zero interest in going back to work even part time), and 2-the more kids she & her hubby have, the more stuff both sets of grandparents give them. They haven’t had to budget for food, clothes, childcare, education, etc..

    Recently, because their family is “just so big” they simply had to buy a million dollar house to fit everyone! Now, even when they had no children and both worked full time, a house like that was well out of their price range, but they’ve found that if “it’s for the little ones”, Gram & Gramps on both sides are quite happy to split the lion’s share of the mortgage between them so that the new parents can just focus on, well, whatever it is they focus on. While they’re busy working on a 4th kid (I mean, that pool for the new house isn’t gonna pay for itself!), their social media accounts are littered with “Abortion on Demand”, “Trust the Science”, and the BLM, LGBTQ, Transgender & Ukraine flags…all except an American one, of course. Cause in their warped minds, this country sucks.

    Our relative really does think that she’s entitled to everything I mentioned and more…simply because of her birthing abilities…and so it’s kind of galling when she calls herself a feminist. Please don’t get me wrong: being a stay at home wife & mom is noble, and a real job that’s a lot of hard work…but in her case, she doesn’t actually do much at all. She put all the kids in daycare, has grandparent coverage at the drop of a hat when she needs spa time or girls night out, or shopping, or going on vacay.

    If you detect a note (or a neon billboard) of resentment/bitterness, you’re not wrong. It’s true that we’d give so much for a child of our own, without needing or even wanting anything from anyone except a normal level of love & support offered to most new parents. It’s more just actual shame to see my own gender exploited like that, especially since the grandparents being taken advantage of in this situation are our loved ones.

    So, to answer your question, I see declarations of feminism all over the place, but watching what amounts to grifting makes me feel as though women like my relative has set true feminism BACK several decades.

      • Great to hear from someone a generation or two removed from the beginning of the sexual revolution. I’ve come to realize I and my contemporaries were on the leading edge of said revolution. I thought, “who needs marriage when you can just live together.” But intimacy is a very powerful thing best linked up with a socially recognized bond. But I got lucky and met Mrs. OB and things have been as good as they could be. But so many of the girls I knew in college have had strangely, sort of barren and/or solitary, lives, seemingly by choice. My college girlfriend is married to a hypochondriac and has never had children. She’s a pussy hat wearing avid abortion enthusiast, at age seventy. Another college friend married an older professor and has never had children. She’s of Greek descent and has written tons of horoscope books. She’s also an heiress. Another college friend married a damaged guy who committed suicide. She has a daughter by the deceased husband who’s had two children. But the friend has apparently never even given a thought to remarrying or even having any sort of relationship with a guy. She’s content living alone. She’s also an heiress. Her college roommate, also an heiress, married and had two girls. Her husband had the audacity after twenty or so years of marriage to think he was entitled to the control of some of her money, whereupon she divorced him. She lives alone. Another friend had a daughter by a guy she never married. He took up with another woman. She has never had another relationship and seems content to live alone. One friend married one of my roommates and they’re still married and have two now adult girls. They seem to be complete outliers. My best man and former roommate is married to his Yale MBA classmate. They have no children.

        So, there you have the pile of anecdotal evidence from my now geriatric generation. Maybe heiresses are wary of bounders and cads. But it seems girls in my generation were imbued with the idea that procreation was a bad idea. As if the species dying out is a good idea. And various guys were and are okay with that. The girl who divorced her husband for alleged greed was a design student (Yale MFA) and was big on Shaker furniture and, somewhat, the Shakers in general. Of course, they died out because abstinence was one of their tenets. Hah! My college girlfriend came home from class one day all excited about (the concept of, I think?) androgyny! Which didn’t really thrill me.

        I agree with your assessment of what feminism was. It just seems to have led to some strange developments over time, unintended consequences. And by the way, all the women I’ve outlined above are avid to fanatical supporters of “abortion rights.” Abortion rights are an absolute given, like the air they breathe. No questions asked.

        Thanks for you report on what younger people are doing and not doing. It’s horrifying. Your sister-in-law is a piece of work. But just a classic girl grifter, right? Nothing really new, a tradition as old as the hills. Hilarious if she thinks of herself as a feminist. Reminds me of Beyonce’s tour where she wiggled in front of a huge sign that read “FEMINIST.” Which elicited from a “Wait. What?”

  3. What are the ethics of banning abortion?

    https://archive.ph/Ump7M

    The fallout from the Supreme Court’s decision has created vast uncertainty among medical providers in some states as legislatures pass more restrictive abortion laws. Details about what’s permitted and how those restrictions will be enforced are sometimes unclear.
    A local TV station in Tucson, Arizona, reported that a 14-year-old girl was denied a refill of a rheumatoid arthritis (RA) drug she had been taking for years just two days after Arizona’s new abortion law took effect.
    The drug, called methotrexate, can treat RA but is also used to end ectopic pregnancies, a potentially fatal condition where the fertilized egg lodges outside the uterus.
    And a New York woman’s TikToks about being denied medication for painful cluster headaches because the drug could cause birth defects got more than 3 million views and tens of thousands of comments.
    Concerns and stories of other medication denials have been reported to advocates from people with chronic conditions who fear not being able to get treatment simply because they have the ability to get pregnant.
    Doctors and health advocates say the vagueness of many of the state laws banning abortion is leading prescribers and pharmacists to be overly cautious when it comes to any medication that can impact pregnancy.

    Here is an ethics question.

    If banning abortion can result in these consequences as outlined in the article, then how can abortion itself be possibly wrong?

    • Operative words in the piece: “have been reported to advocates” and “Doctors and health advocates.” Totally unreliable sources.

    • Both circumstances are fabricated.
      The girl in Tucson suffering from RA is taking a drug that can abort an ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancies are fatal to both mother & child; to save the mother’s life, an abortion is necessary. There is no law in Arizona (or any other state) that requires a mother to die before being allowed an abortion.
      New York doesn’t place any restrictions upon abortion, so this is not a new concern for doctors, pharmacists, or patients. If a medication causes birth defects and the mother doesn’t want an abortion but is unwilling to discontinue using the medication, the duty to inform is on the physician to tell the woman the risks of continuing the medication.
      Since the specific medication isn’t specified, I can speculate that there may have been other contraindications involving the life of the mother, but getting an abortion at any point in a pregnancy is legal in New York. It’s not mentioned whether this woman is pregnant and it’s a 2nd hand account of a TikTok clip.
      The pro-abortion folks don’t even bother with facts to add credibility to their lies.

      • Jean Lamb commented.

        I have a friend of Quora who tried to pick up cancer meds for her son, and they almost didn’t let her until she threw a fit. After all, she might have used them to have an abortion!
        So I guess that 14 year old girl in Arizona is lying.
        Dude, you just want women and girls to die, so don’t even.

      • Regurgitated! I also found two others, one all the way back to 11/13. Please let me know when this happens. I have no idea what got you spammed any of those times, and I apologize for my platform.

        • As another EA reader has commented, I am not a lawyer. I am a high school graduate with a back injury and take medication that deprives me of intelligence. I’ll proofread a redundancy I’ve typed out and consider the eaten comment as the better outcome.
          I really appreciate EA for feeding a part of my mind that doesn’t get much use otherwise. I am far more aware of rationalizations than I was prior to stumbling across Ethics Alarms. Thank you!

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