In a case involving a spa for women that refused service to a transgender woman, Circuit Judge Lawrence VanDyke’s dissented from the full court’s decision not to review the spa’s claims that a Washington state anti-discrimination law violated its constitutional rights. (You know, Washington state. It was discrimination not to allow a biological male who had decided he was now female to join and all-female spa and undress in a women’s locker room.) VanDyke’s dissent begins, “This is a case about swinging dicks.”
“You may think that swinging dicks shouldn’t appear in a judicial opinion,” the judge continued. “I hope we all can agree that it is far more jarring for the unsuspecting and exposed women at Olympus Spa — some as young as 13 — to be visually assaulted by the real thing.”
Twenty-seven judges denounced VanDyke’s comments as “vulgar barroom talk” that could undermine public trust in the courts, including my old Georgetown Law Center classmate, Circuit Judge M. Margaret McKeown, who wrote separately that VanDyke’s “crass” language served only to distract from what she said was a routine case involving discrimination in public accommodations.
“It is certainly not a case involving ‘woke regulators’ and ‘complicit judges’ out to harm ‘women and young girls,'” she wrote.”Those assertions describe a case entirely different from the one presented to the panel.”
I hate to disagree with my distinguished classmate, especially since she’s judge and I’m just a…hell, I don’t know what I am. But the case was indeed about “swinging dicks.” Here’s the first paragraph of the decision:
Ethics Alarms 
“[The spa’s] policy of granting entry to only biological women and excluding, in addition to men, preoperative transgender women who have not yet received gender confirmation surgery affecting their genitalia.”
In other words, “guys who haven’t yet had their dicks and nuts chopped off.” I’m offended such people are blithely described by the good and nice and judicious judges as preoperative transgender women who have not yet received gender confirmation surgery affecting their genitalia. Jeeze, even when animals are castrated (and when young boys were castrated to preserve their juvenile voices), the operations simply cut out their nuts. They don’t chop off their dicks as well. Ouch! Talk about violent language.
By the way, “swinging dick(s)” is my favorite term for (among other over-testosteroned types) swashbuckling litigators who rule their courtrooms and the lawyers who work for them. I called a well-known big deal Phoenix litigator a swinging dick when talking to my chiropractor who worked on said swinging dick. My chiropractor had never heard the term and just about fell down laughing.
“…my chiropractor who worked on said swinging dick.” So said swinging dick was properly aligned?