3. A very prominent member of the organization, who had gone on to national fame and accolades before being embroiled in a scandal that resulted in his being “cancelled” in the theater world a decade ago, stunned everyone by showing up. He and I were never friends, though we did work together cordially a few times. I made a point of telling him that I admired his work, that I had tried to find time to offer my support when the walls were closing in (which is true), that he was right to attend and that I respected his integrity and courage. Once the biggest of fish in this little pond, he was content to quietly participate and celebrate the organization that no longer celebrated him. Bravo.

4. There were three attendees who I hadn’t seen in many years, and who to various degrees and for different reasons had reasons, in their own minds at least, to resent me. I made a point of tracking down each of them. I also got three different responses. One shook my hand stiffly and was studiedly cold. His wife wouldn’t speak to me. One was friendly and thanked me for a Linked In congratulations note I dropped him after a career milestone. The third, who really has a good reason to hate my guts, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Hey…can we have coffee some time? We should talk.” And we will. It’s never too late to make amends, apparently, at least in her case.

5. At my instigation, many of us planned to have a video connection at the start of the ceremonies with a long-time colleague in the group who is now being cared for as he struggles with dementia in his nineties. He was alert, knew all of us, and was beaming throughout the Zoom love-fest. I was glad I had thought of him, and so was everyone else involved.

6 And now I know why reunions are dangerous. One of the great loves of my life caught my eye at the very end of the evening: I had forgotten that she might be there. We had mutually agreed thirty years ago not to have any contact with each other: we both were married and had kids, and life’s twists and turn had made it impossible for us to be together. She crossed the room to see me, and we talked for a half an hour. She looked wonderful. It was as if we had never been apart: the connection is still there. I did not see that coming.

And we probably will never see each other again.