While Working On Keeping My Gorge Down So I Can Address The Latest Anti-Kavanaugh Tactics, Here Are Some Preparatory Musings And Polls Galore!

I’ve been searching my college memories…

Memory I: As a junior, I engineered an elaborate prank to steal a sofa from two classmates and friends who had swiped a sofa from two other students in their dorm. It almost worked, too: the pay-off was going to be when they visited our suite and saw their sofa there. The plan fell apart, and the original owners even got their sofa back.

Question: Should this episode, which technically involved attempted theft, disqualify me for some positions as an adult and professional?


Memory II: I dimly recall that one of my roommates once put a traffic cone over his head and face, carried a broom as a baton, and paraded naked around a room in our suite singing “Can’t get enough of those Sugar Crisp!” as another roommate was engaged with a date.

Question: Is this incident legitimate information to send to a potential employer?



  • I can’t remember if he was naked, or wearing briefs, but I THINK he was naked.


  • The woman thought it was hilarious.


  • He went on to become a beloved father,  teacher, soccer coach and high school principal


Memory III: At a cast party when I was a college freshman and only 17 years old, a gorgeous female chorus member whom I barely knew got incredibly drunk, pushed me on a sofa, and began kissing and groping me. I removed myself from under her–I was not drunk at all—took her back to her dorm room, and put her to bed.

Question: Would I be justified in reporting this incident to the news media and the Senate if she were a SCOTUS candidate today?



  • The fact that a young woman that beautiful, drunk or not, would take any interest in me, a skinny, glasses-wearing nerd who had never even kissed a girl yet made me happy for…hell, it still makes me happy. I’ll remember her, her name, and that surprise “assault” til the day I die.


Bonus question: Who was the Sugar Crisp Bear imitating?

77 thoughts on “While Working On Keeping My Gorge Down So I Can Address The Latest Anti-Kavanaugh Tactics, Here Are Some Preparatory Musings And Polls Galore!

  1. Several seemingly-intelligent (but otherwise liberal) friends have jumped in to the “Kavanaugh is a Malevolent Pervert” cesspool. It fills me with despair to read their social media posts, twisted rants filled with lies and media manipulations swallowed unquestioningly.

    My only hope comes from the knowledge that several ancient Roman authors wrote similar despair-filled missives about the way their beloved home was going to the dogs, yet Rome survived for centuries before the barbarians finally brought it down.

    • Rome was built on military power and a common societal ethic. It took centuries for those to erode far enough for her to fall.

      We are NOT built on military power and we have lost our common societal ethic. What hold us together? Inertia? That proverbial final straw has not landed upon the camel’s back?

      Real question

      • My point is simply that exasperation and unease with society’s downward trends are found in many cultures. Any other comparisons to Rome would be incidental.

        Of course, we could select an Imperator, just for the duration of this emergency.

        • I get it.

          The problem is, is people DO like to say “look! Rome survived”

          Only it didn’t. The Roman *Republic* never recovered.

          The Gracchi (c 150 BC) & Marius (c 100 BC) began the Roman collapse into a type of anarchy that was only resolved through essentially a military dictatorship with the rise of Octavian (c 30 BC).

          Rome may have “lasted”, but it wasn’t a Republic.

          • There’s nothing wrong with drawing comparisons to history though in terms of trying to analyze the myriad reasons societies collapse or succeed, determine if those reasons are compatible with our value sets and then see if those reasons can be replicated or avoided depending on the analysis.

            Interestingly, the period of 150-50 BC was wrought with politicians and political parties intentionally sewing chaos into the established constitutional order.

            Do we have any political parties like that now?

            • The Republic had to deal with multiple parties and individuals, all strong, many experienced statesmen, and many compelling orators.

              Thanks for making the distinction between the Roman Republic and the Empire, Michael. The former was indubitably chaotic, as well as democratic, resourceful and creative. Many of its politicians and statesmen live on, and not just in fiction: Cicero, Cato (Elder & Younger), Caesar (father Gaius, son Julius), Pompey, Brutus, Agrippa, Marc Antony, etc.

              The emperors, on the other hand, were for the most part “mad, bad and dangerous to know.” That’s my reading of history, anyway. There are present parallels to both periods certainly, and lessons to be learned (besides military maneuvers). Not that academia has room in these parlous times for current civics, much less that of history ….

  2. Jack asked, “Who was the Sugar Crisp Bear imitating?”

    Probably a crooner from the 30’s, 40’s, or 50’s but I honestly have no clue, a wild guess would be Bing since I think the voice was similar to his.

      • Ha. I recall one kid who pushed, and I mean pushed HARD, on anybody who would listen to believe that the bear’s voice was Mickey Mantle’s.

        I tried to answer all of those poll questions as sarcastically as possible, except for the second one, because no matter where one stands (or shits) in the Nation of Assholes, it is easy to gush in disbelief that the conversation is even happening.

      • He does sound like Como, but if you listen to the rhythm and cadence of the speaking voice, they are definitely going for Bing.

        Bonus fun fact that no one cares about — the very first concert I ever went to was Bing Crosby at the Uris Theater in NY in 1977 (I think it was 77). He died shortly after. Rosemary Clooney was there, too. I was 14, it was the first show I wanted to see, and none of my friends really knew who he was.

        Oddly enough, when the commercials went on into the 1980s, he sounded more like Dean Martin!

  3. Bonus: It is an old spiritual hymn of some sort.

    I have almost lost faith in our republic over this entire confirmation hearings episode.

    You see, the Swamp does NOT WANT a conservative on the court: they want someone who will rubber stamp their efforts to destroy our rights and the Constitution. This includes a lot of GOP Senators, who are looking for ANY excuse that allows them to stay in power while voting ‘no.’

    Depressing. Enraging. And depleting. How do the perpetually outraged keep going? The emotions are exhausting.

    • “I have almost lost faith in our republic over this entire confirmation hearings episode.”

      At least you can say “almost.” What republic is there, except the Swamp’s?

  4. Oh Jack. Check your privilege. Burn down the boys club. And give the girl who threw herself on you a break. She’s a victim of the patriarchy. She’d obviously been hurtfully dumped by a (much better looking than you) guy and was probably thinking, as a Main Line Philly heiress woman college classmate told me (much to my surprise): “Blessed is the rose that has not been plucked, for it knows not what it is to be thorny.” Which, in retrospect, I was probably supposed to have taken as a call to action? We were friends but I never found her at all attractive.

      • Many years ago in the late 70’s I worked at an area bar which I dubbed a meat-market and I’ve driven numerous drunken women friends, acquaintances and regulars home and even put a few of them to bed – I always put them to bed 100% fully clothed and some complained about it. They can get undressed after I leave. Contempt from some of them that got multiple trips home was damn near expected. When there was someone available, I had someone else go with me which was most of the time.

        Some of the untrue rumors afterwards got kind of thick because some of the girls were regular bar-flies, but I just ignored the rumors.

        • I also got contempt and mockery from some male cast members, who concluded that I had to be gay, stupid, or the biggest wimp who ever lived.
          But at least I preserved my eligibility for the Supreme Court!!!!

          • Jack Marshall wrote, “I also got contempt and mockery from some male cast members, who concluded that I had to be gay, stupid, or the biggest wimp who ever lived.”

            I was a bouncer at the bar so except for the wimp part which no one had the balls to say or imply, welcome to my world. Those things just blew over pretty quickly when they didn’t get the emotional reactions they were after.

        • I was in a similar situation at ~ the same time on more than few occasions when I was the bouncer in a downtown Madison Hotel’s entertainment venues.

          Contempt (slammed doors, verbal-n-physical abuse, accusations and…um…mockery of the same type Jack endured) aptly describes most of the reactions I received from X-Chromosomal Units to whom NO apparently didn’t mean NO.

          More like the withering emasculation of how could you/why would you possibly decline?

          Alas; we spend our lives teaching other people how to treat us.

  5. Boy—in the early polling, one voter really is determined to make school, socialization, trial and error courting rituals and childhood a no-tolerance danger zone that could haunt us all, our children and grand-children.

    I’d love to hear whoever it is defend that position, which seems to be the current fad position of the entire political Left.

    • I think you are being trolled, for comic effect. Look who already commented: Z and Old Bill are not above such a tongue in cheek move, as it is funny. Heck, I considered doing so myself, just because the replies were so far out there. (No it was not me)

      • I am not one to wreck data gathering of polls I just don’t participate in them (except for Jacks), I just wait for someone to comes to ridiculous conclusions based on flawed methodology then I’m right there ready to pounce. 😉

      • Old Bill??? Thanks sw. You’re a peach. Not that I’m young. Hah!

        Speaking of old and college, last June was my 45th reunion. Not that I went. Reunions are always disappointing. The interesting people never show up. Guess they have better things to do with their time.

        • Would you stay for the beatings you would have to take to support the illogical lunacy the progressives have to be all in for these days, lest their kin turn on them?

          I don’t blame them. Anything and anyone is on the table for doxing now, no matter your groovy virtue signalled proggy credentials. Wil Wheaton.

          • I don’t really blame them, either. Chris managed to shoot himself in the foot, and wouldn’t fix it. Others just finally figured out that their positions were unethical and left. I’m glad that Sparty stayed. She gives us some insight into the liberal/progressive mind-set.

          • But that’s just it. It would speak volumes for them to NOT defend the insanity their party is pushing the nation to but for them to get on here and say “yes, this is dangerous and despicable and does NOT reflect the values we claim to espouse”.

            What if we don’t want them on here to *defend* the insanity? Not all topics have two potentially valid positions to take before arguing towards truth. Some topics are flat out one sided to the point it is apparent from the start, and honest people align with the obviously correct side.

            • So you had to keep picking at the scab, and exposed the dark underbelly I was glossing over.

              Being ‘on the right side of history’ produces a warm glow, a satisfying fuzzy feeling that protects one from too much critical analysis of the details and real world ramifications of what one believes. My experience is that progressives and liberals (we had both here, at one point) are all about ‘doing something’ and not so much being responsible when the plan fails. Theory is all they need, and evidence of failure in the real world application must be due to something other than the failure of the pet theory. (“The right people just have not tried socialism yet”)

              They are the educated, elevated, and enlightened ones (says so right here on the package) and entertainment of different points of view just shows how benevolent they are. They seek to convert or suppress, as the spirit moves, and general consensus is enough to prove the matter, as long as their side has that majority. Control of the narrative means never having to say you are sorry, even if the narrative of today is anathema tomorrow.

              But this attitude breeds contempt, contempt breeds arrogance, and arrogance makes you stupid. When the narrative started contradicting reality, to the point even a progressive can not condone it, the game is not longer fun. That ‘warm glow’ is snuffed out, and those you were smugly better than suddenly are poking holes in your worldview. If you are rational and willing to converse, you have a personal problem with how bad the narrative became. This is intolerable, and thus they no longer tolerated it.

              Not by changing, oh no. You must retreat from the conversation, for falling from grace means YOU are in danger from the mob you so blithely helped create. Better to say nothing at all, than be outed as ‘not woke enough’ and castigated yourself!

              It would speak volumes for them to NOT defend the insanity their party is pushing the nation…

              …but that would be agreeing with the fascists, and could get them doxed and excommunicated.

              Some topics are flat out one sided to the point it is apparent from the start, and honest people align with the obviously correct side.

              You have to be ‘an honest person’ for that to work. I submit that acceptance of MOST progressive narrative requires loss of personal integrity, even if just in the quiet recesses of your own skull. Is it obvious that disrupting the Senate with screaming protestors, or out of order motions, or holding accusations until after the hearings are wrong on their face? Progressives do not think so.

              How are you going to come to an honest alignment when they are willing to burn everything down rather than allow our government to operate as it always has?

      • Not entirely you, johnburger. I have a built-in antagonistic reaction to all polls, all multiple-choice and most single-answer questions. They always leave something out something essential.

        • I have become sort of like you that way, PennAgain. The polls are all too much like the ballots I see when I vote – no name on those that I can trust.

  6. Similar to your Memory III, I had the same thing happen to me: A lovely, intelligent, sharp-witted young lady cornered me at a party and tried to have her way with me. Did I report her to the authorities? Oh, hell no I did not! In fact, I married her!!!!


  7. This kind of reminded me of that HIMYM episode “The Naked Truth.” A drunk and naked college Marshall allows himself to be videoed. Now that he is up for a job, he wants that video taken down. Should it matter or is this part of the naked teacher principle?

    I would say no while he was in college, but yes when he does it again later in the episode.

    I remember in high school dressing up in a woman’s bathing suit to win a contest. I got humiliated by the staff for it (though I got third place). Never did anything like that again. I can’t imagine if something like that was used against me now.

  8. You left off an option. Persionally, I think the behavior in memory II should be a strong recommendation of that man for a place in our government. It would raise the maturity level of our officials.

  9. I am afraid that your poll results are going to be skewed. I selected the most ridiculous answers I could find. Sorry. I hang my keyboard in shame. Perhaps I should get MIchael Avenatti to represent me.


  10. Boy, engineering school was really dull compared to all the fun you all had. The only significant event I can recall is that a candy vending machine was so remorseful over not providing product for money that it committed suicide by leaping from a second floor window.

    Seriously, all this crap is insane. I just read a post by Althouse about the NYT trying to make something out of comments in his high school yearbook. I bet sure as hell there is a witness coming forth to testify that she just remembered he played drop the crayon and peeked up her dress in KG.

  11. Your story is similar to an event that occured at a club in Frederick Md in 1999. My wife enjoys dancing and we would often go to this nightclub where she and her girlfriends would dance and socialize.

    As was the usual case she and her friends would sit at the bar while I held up the adjacent wall behind her and did what I am most familiar; observe the crowd.

    One evening a group of much younger women were celebrating what I guess was a bachlorette party. Out of the blue I got a tap on the shoulder and a young lady put a lip lock on me. She said she had to do it and then raced back to her other celebrants. They were all laughing and waving their arms. I figured it was on a dare but my wife was not amused. Nor was I. It was quite apparent that to them it was a big joke, a game that insulted both of us.

    So when people tell me that young women are not inclined to engage in such behavior I don’t buy it. I remember the incident where it took place and about when it occurred. But, I have little recollection of who the woman was. I should note I was the designated driver that night.

    This second accuser of Kavanaugh had no issues with a game involving a artificial phallus but then claims she was assaulted playing the game. Unbelievable.

  12. I can’t believe this keeps getting bigger. Aren’t progressives all about giving minors a break for everything from murder to gang violence to drugs? But they are so blinded by partisanship they are stringing up people who have done no worse than what their prominent leaders have skated out of. ‘Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone’ is a valuable bit of advice no matter what your faith.

    The sugar bear sounds like an imitation of the buh-buh-buh of Bing Crosby.

    • If it wasn’t for one peculiar music teacher in one fine public school, I never would have heard of that song or tune, let along sung it:
      You can talk about your Kings of Gideon,
      You can talk about your men of Saul,
      But there’s none like good ol’ Joshua
      At the Battle of Jericho – OH!…
      (Music misleads me to believe I have a good memory, late at night.)

      • Correction and clarification: I HAD heard the tune in the Post Sugar Crisp commercial – some time BEFORE that teacher introduced the “real” lyrics. Of course all us kids recognized “that song from the cereal commercial.”

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