I Can’t Let THIS Pass: CNN Reinstates Jeffrey Toobin

They really did. Am I surprised? I can’t say that I am exactly. Of course, any responsible organization would fire an employee who was publicly revealed (oops, almost said “exposed”) masturbating on camera during a Zoomed staff meeting. A real estate firm? Of course. A law firm? No question about it. A consulting firm? A university? Naturally. Not only was what Toobin did during a New Yorker meeting per se sexual harassment, it was signature significance for a sick puppy with the judgment of someone who likes to play “dodge ’em” on the freeway.

I was worried that in my various posts about Toobin’s Folly, I might have stated that CNN would never take Toobin back (they suspended him; the New Yorker canned him). I didn’t. I did write about Toobin’s future utility as a legal analyst, which is what Toobin purports to do, saying

Again, why would anyone care what an analyst thinks who has shown such head-explodingly bad judgment, disrespect for the workplace and colleagues, and juvenile instincts?

I also saw foreshadowing of today development in this post, in which I pronounced myself a moron for being resistant to the idea that progressives will excuse each other for just about anything, writing,

“I continue to be unable to grasp the complete attempted inside-out-ization of all American logic, principles and values by the people who currently control the White House, half of Congress, the schools, the universities, the news media, social media, Big Tech and entertainment.”

And sure enough, CNN brought back Toobin today. Wow. Asked by CNN’s Alisyn Camerota “what he was thinking,” Toobin replied that he “wasn’t thinking very well or very much,” and called his conduct “deeply moronic.” Yeah, that’s just what inquiring viewers want in their legal analysis: the opinions of someone who doesn’t think well or very much and is periodically moronic in the workplace by his own admission.

This is, ultimately, an issue of respect: CNN doesn’t respect its viewers sufficiently to give them the benefit of a legal analyst who has never beaten off in the workplace and on camera. It can’t be that hard, and Toobin isn’t even an especially competent legal analyst when he isn’t pleasuring himself. Ah, but he’s a member of the family, you see, and at CNN, loyalty and being reliably biased in the right direction counts more than having functioning ethics, workplace, decency or common sense alarms.

I don’t want to see anyone’s career and life ruined, and I get the “everybody deserves a second chance” instinct, but it doesn’t apply here. No trustworthy professional is owed a first chance to masturbate during a staff meeting on company time, even if it isn’t caught on camera. I sincerely wish Toobin luck as he tries, as he said today, “to be a better person.” ” I’m in therapy, trying to do some public service, working in a food bank,” he says, and that’s swell, especially the therapy. But I’ll take my expert analysis—pretty much on any topic—from someone who is smart and responsible enough to know that you don’t masturbate during a meeting.

I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

43 thoughts on “I Can’t Let THIS Pass: CNN Reinstates Jeffrey Toobin

  1. I do not see this self-fluffing moron lasting all that long because the visual label is just too repelling and co-workers will by snickering and making jokes behind his back that he’ll eventually become aware of unless this is a calculated PR maneuver like the Bearded Lady, Lobster Boy, or the Elastic Skin Man, that were part of the archaic traveling circus freak show. People will tune in (for a while anyway) the same way we all crane our necks to catch a glimpse while driving by a car accident.

  2. I am curious. How and why was the Toobin Rehabilitation Tour devised? Who thought it was a good idea to have Toobin on set with a won an anchor asking him the facts about his firing? Toobin, shameless, in so many ways, sits with Alisyn Camerota, supposedly a hard hitting news person, asking questions completely humiliating himself (and his family AGAIN!!!) and she has to ask him step by step about what happens. Did they people who concocted this mess think it was be fun see you many people who embarrass themselves by participating in this lunacy?


    • I think the “but he’s a good guy” syndrome is at work here. Plus, he’s a reliable, knee jerk lefty. Who cares if he jacked off on camera? Is that even perversion? It depends on what your meaning of perversion is. I mean, come on (sort of), look at all these guys in entertainment jacking off in front of women. What’s wrong with that? The French do it all the time. Nothing to see here. Move on.


  3. Let us not be so hard on Mr. Toobin. The zoom meeting was billed as an “election simulation”, Toobin merely misread it as “erection stimulation”. Despite the humiliation, close friends like Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon were always ready to extend a helping hand, during his hard times, to assist him with handling his problem. With their help, the situation is now in hand and he is ready to take action. THEY helped him beat this!!!

  4. Plushe’s WHITE!

    That makes Toobin’s reinstatement all the more repugnant and racist. Unless…it’s all part of some fiendish plot to tar and feather ALL white guys as…you know, like Toobin.

    The hell with him. I won’t be watching. I’m not even curious. It’s bad enough that I watch ANYthing on cable – and then, pull away from there by going to watch YouTube. I would say at this point, “I would rather stick to YouTube,” but, I don’t really “stick” to ANYthing much these days; I just sort of slide up to things, and then just hang out there for awhile.

    So now – for all those dear guys reading here who I hope have it not as bad as I, but still could use some REAL stimulation – for their pleasure: the last YouTube video I watched tonight, just a little while ago: “Swimming Adventure with Avaryana Rose.” She is such a brave girl, to swim in a pool so cloudy! Maybe she’ll get hooked-up with the now-(supposedly) rehabilitating Anthony Weiner.

    • I couldn’t resist. I confess: I had to watch her again after commenting.
      I wish these narcissists would leave me alone! (I’m even rusty with my sarcasm!)

      • And here I was, worrying that today, after my diversion of last night, someone would call me a racist for sharing a video of a white girl. I agree, John: she needs t’work. (Did I mention that I am a spelling bee champion? I’m pooling for this girl!)

  5. I think we have reached the point where there is nothing that an avowed Leftist can do that will disqualify him from being employed by the news media, or other ideologically sympathetic companies.

    Ever more, ideology trumps everything. Believe and say the right things, and you are immune even from any consequences for masturbating in public. This is the scarlet letter turned upside down.

  6. I might as well join in. Maybe we need a new term in the Urban Dictionary:
    Toobin -v- Accidentally or unknowingly performing the act of self sexual gratification during a unterminated zoom feed.
    i.e. Jeffery was toobin for an audience consisting of his co-workers and peers.

  7. Let’s pretend EVERYTHING CNN has done to show it is a nefarious and malicious actor on the public stage hasn’t happened, reinstating Toobin speaks for itself…it would be signature significance.

  8. From David Burge:

    “Maybe the reason it’s so hard for young idiots to find jobs in journalism is because it’s apparently impossible for the old idiots to be fired…. CNN’s 6-month worldwide talent search fails to find adequate substitute for the perceptive insight and intellectual gravitas of Zoomie the Masturbation Chimp. It’s like the Washington Generals thinking they’re finally gonna beat the Globetrotters by re-signing a 3rd string 5’1″ point guard to a 10 year no-cut contract, a month after he was suspended for dry humping the rest of the benchwarmers.

    The worst thing about the Return of Toobin is that it’s turned my Twitter mentions into Dick Joke Amateur Night, but the point of this isn’t dick jokes; the point is that had he been in any other profession on Earth, Jeffrey Toobin would now be standing on a street corner spinning a plastic sign for a mattress store sale.”

  9. I wonder if CNN simply settled a wrongful termination claim with Toobin and said, “Yeah, you’re rehired. We missed you.” Then, they put him on with Camerota, who gets to ask him those questions. When she files the hostile work environment claim, they can then can him again, this time for cause because he threatens the safety of women who refuse to go into his office because, well, you never know what he is doing in there . . .


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